Depression: Solutions to Serious Blues Singing

 

depression - noun - a common mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, loss of interest, and low mood that interfere with daily life. (Google)

Although I don't know for sure, common sense tells me that quite a few people in the U.S. are suffering from depression at present. Very little that the 24-7 news cycle is reporting motivates the masses to get up out of bed every morning with lust for living. Most probably, more than a few are finding it hard to face the day lately.

Emotional depression is the voice of "Debbie Downer" (SNL) deep inside, affecting one's ability to function actively on a daily basis. "Debbie" is a parasite within that sucks up all of the effected's ebullience for the pleasures of existence. The effected may be consistently morose, negative, lackadaisical, difficult. The effected may not be able to sleep well or may sleep all of the time. The effected may be overeating or under eating, perhaps even starving himself/herself. There may be or not be anxiety present as "Debbie's" wingman. 

Case in point, two of my very close relations under age 35 are experiencing symptoms of depression at present. What is tough is being the next of kin, the cheerleader who feels as though she is at the base of the triangle, crawling her way up to the top of the human pyramid. When it comes to depression, you have to be cheery, courageous, indefatigable, relentless, and hopeful. It's just not easy.

After my loved one had an emotional breakdown, I called one of my close friends who just happens to be a top psychotherapist in Los Angeles, recommended by Psychology Today. He gave me choices that you can make yourself if you or a loved one is experiencing the symptoms of depression: 

1. Call your doctor. Ask for a recommendation. Find a psychiatrist or psychotherapist that your insurance plan will cover, but choose someone you like, someone who is well known in the field. No matter whom you select, both professionals will evaluate you. The psychiatrist may prescribe medication, and it may or may not relieve your symptoms. An EMDR psychotherapist may work with you to eliminate your misery, but it will take more than one session.

2. Stop drinking alcohol and eating sugar. Attempt to eat healthy foods. Stay hydrated.

3. Force yourself to exercise even if you just walk around the block.

4. Spend time outside in the sun. Vitamin D is essential to good health. 

5. Call or text a close relative or friend whom you trust. Share your personal concerns. Or just make a date to have lunch or go shopping with the person. Loneliness often walks hand in hand with Depression.

6. Meditate. Google what it means and how to go about it, or find a Buddhist temple that offers free, open meditation as it has been proven to beat depression. 

7. Turn off the 24-7 news cycle. Remember that no one can accurately predict what will happen in the future. 

What seemed to work for my loved one was a long walk/talk on the beach at sunset with me. Although it wasn't an instantaneous, permanent cure, it was the start of something that looked like a breakthrough. She spilled a lot of what had been plaguing her, which helped. An attempt was made to regurgitate "Debbie Downer" and perhaps the unnoticed wingman, too.

Depression doesn't go away overnight. It is, after all, a mental illness. But don't give up. Never, never, never give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel. 

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Can You Date James Bond Safely?

 

trauma - noun - a deeply distressing or disturbing experience (Google).

Out here in the realm of internet dating, as a single, straight, sixty-something woman, I know that you can meet a plethora of  men, especially if you happen to look way younger than you are, have hair (preferably long and bleached), and can still pull off wearing a bikini. (Am I suggesting that men are superficial? Hmm.) Most of the available gentlemen I have met are successful and have led fascinating lives, which is to be expected when one lives in a large, cosmopolitan city populated with over nine million people. But for whatever reason, the relatively "normal" ones are a rarity. I haven't met one yet who hasn't had at least a half dozen red flags safety pinned on to his Tommy Bahama camp shirt. The trouble is that I tend to ignore them because I get caught up in the glimmer of a shiny surface and nod yes, when I should shake my head no.

My last Match date or six dates were with James Bond. Okay, his last name wasn't Bond, but it could have been. Geez! All I can say is that Ian Fleming's psychological characterization of his antihero is spot on. In case you don't recall the reason why the fictive James has control and intimacy issues, it is due to severe trauma when he was eleven; his parents were killed in a mountain climbing accident, leaving his aunt to raise him. My actual version had alcoholic parents, who were not entirely present for him; ergo, he was left to his aunt. Like Fleming's Bond, this James (his real name) was trained as an assassin (but by the U.S. Army, not MI6, the British Secret Intelligence Service). To this day, he still claims ownership of a few pistols. Just as Ian's testosterone-charged invention, my James is a handsome adventurer, a pilot, an expert surfer, a mechanic, medic, an archer, and a snowboarder. Not surprisingly, he has slept with a multitude of women (two more than celluloid Bond) but has never been in love even though he was actually married and divorced. (You might recall that fictive James was married, but his counterpart was killed.)

All of the aforementioned should have daunted me, but as a big fan of the Bond movies, I just couldn't resist the actual James's ability to take initiative, act like a perfect, romantic gentleman, and insist on picking up the tab. Unmitigated generosity is rare. The problem was his expectations were as unrealistic  as Bond himself. Perhaps like the fictional version, my James is insecure. For one, he didn't like that I was way too popular on the dating site where I found him. 

What can I say? I could have fallen in love with James, but I am glad I didn't because it just wouldn't have worked out in the long run. I am sure the sex would have been addictive and might have allowed us to last a year or so; but in the end, strong, secure women just need strong, secure men who understand who they are and accept them as is. Perhaps what I want is the opposite of how Bond liked his martinis. I desire to be stirred gently and consistently, not shaken passionately and precariously. In case you are curious, I prefer JD with honey on the rocks and real men to literary creations.  

Can you date James Bond safely? What do you think? 

P.S. As of today, Bond and I are friends, trying to make it work like most fictitious characters aiming for a Hollywood ending do. Hey, anything is possible. Right? We have a chaotic king for a president.

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