in perpetuity - forever
About a week ago, I came across the phrase "in perpetuity" as I was registering one of the singles off of my second, original album with BMI, a "performance rights" agency that distributes loyalties to composers/artists after their copyrighted music has been played publicly. It definitely has a legal, contractual ring to it. Lucky for me, all I had to do was check off a box, agreeing that I am and will be the sole owner of the rights to the song forever. And as we know, forever is a very long time.
In life, contracts abound. In fact, we can't get through reality as adults sans signing agreements. That being stated, few belong under the nomenclature of "in perpetuity." However, marriage does promise to be interminable albeit the divorce rate in reality tends to nullify the original arrangement and usually quite expeditiously at that. Still, there are exemplary couples that embrace the covenant for the long term. In March, I unveiled the ingredients necessary to perpetuate a loving relationship. The blog was called "Netflix and the Secret of Loving Longer." Which had all of two readers. (I'm going for at least three this time around.) Ever since I saw that documentary about the uber committed couple, living happily in perpetuity up in Vermont, I have been meeting real people who mirror that particular pair in at least one sense.
Just today, as my musical partner and I were setting up to perform Sinatra and Motown tunes for about fifty residents in an assisted living facility, an elderly husband and wife were ensconced in the third row of the house, 30 minutes early, watching reruns of Seinfeld on the TV situated just above our heads. The gentleman just happened to mention that he and his bride had recently celebrated 70 years of marriage. Yes, 70. Most of us don't make it to ten, sadly enough. Of course, I didn't want to assume that what I had noted in the aforementioned blog could possibly apply to everyday reality, but surprisingly, it does.
This ordinary human being verified a theory I had had even before I watched Netflix, perhaps even before there was a Netflix. The male (sorry, but this might only be true for straight couples) in a long-term relationship has to possess a stubborn choke hold on love. In clearer, less violently graphic terms, he has to be in love with his woman in perpetuity. The euphoric, somewhat seemingly nonviable emotional state has to last forever. Or the deal is off. My own father hung onto an unrequited love affair (or should I say, a marriage) with my mother in perpetuity in spite of her being an often difficult, imperious woman who had pretty much nothing in common with him. Since he was in love with her, it didn't much matter that she didn't return his variety of love because it made him blind to any and all imperfections she inhabited. Ergo the union lasted until the death-do-us-part clause of the agreement kicked in. He never remarried although he did date a woman only because she reminded him of my mother. (You see what I mean? In perpetuity is without a doubt forever.)
So there you have it, ladies. If you believe in marriage (or even a monogamous liaison) and want yours to last forever, just find a man who is head over heels in love with you. If you do, like the song "At Last" that I am learning for my next gig at a local nursing home, a spell will be cast, you'll feel like you're in heaven, and he will be yours in perpetuity "at last."
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