Illustrious Illeism

 

Illeism - noun - referring to the self in third person in order to separate oneself from the self.

Is it possible to separate oneself from the self for clarity?

One of my favorite television series has always been "Sex and the City." Although it saw its last episode a while ago, I still like to watch all six seasons via HBO Max. The latest installment, the sequel,"And Just Like That" just isn't the same, especially sans the controversial character of Samantha. Say what you will about the original. You can't argue that it isn't well written for what it is: risky, bawdy, yet groundbreaking cable TV. As I have been a writer since my twenties (a long time) and a high-school English teacher to boot, I can appreciate how the character of Carrie, a journalist, begins each episode with a question. (I might have stolen the idea a few times to use in my classroom, but don't quote me on that.) One show from the fourth season, I believe, features the theme of perception: how we can never quite perceive ourselves with an absolute degree of accuracy. Which is true. We can't. We are either too self-critical or too self-justifying or too self-somewhere-in-between. Not being able to judge oneself well, I think, may be one of the myriad flaws of human nature. However, if you are the exception (in the extreme minority) and tend to view yourself authentically, society considers you "cursed with self-awareness" as ironically, it can be a liability when you are flying solo 20/20 in a farsighted or blind community. So either way, I guess we caught in a Catch-22 and can't win.

Last week, I was scrolling through the BBC's World News' website and came across an article devoted to the concept of self-perception. Apparently, there are individuals out there who can dole out the advice, but when it comes to being able to self-direct, they can't, probably because they are too close to themselves; so when they look at themselves in a mirror, they have a tough time seeing themselves for who they are. In short, they can dish it out, but can't take it, meaning their own advice. But how can you advise yourself if you can't read yourself realistically? The BBC's answer? Illeism. According to the article, ostensibly, you have to provide yourself some distance from yourself by talking to yourself in the third person, which is known as Illeism. Here's an example: "You know, Gwyn, you really should try to stop coming across as a know-it-all and mind your own business when it comes to other people's lives." You get the idea. 

I suppose the idea isn't new since perfectly sane people (?) have been talking to themselves in third person since forever. I suppose it may make sense to try if you are indeed capable of separating yourself from your ego long enough to see that it could be the reason why you can't recognize your own shortcomings. 

Let's face it (if we can), being human isn't easy. Life isn't easy. It was never meant to be. A little bit of self-deception is probably not too self-destructive. For instance, if I look in the glass this morning and see a rock star, will the falsity kill me? Probably not. A boost of fake reality may just make me feel like I can tackle the actual day better. Is there anything wrong with that?

Speaking of rock stars, I'll leave you with a bit of sound advice borrowed from Pink Floyd albeit I might have quoted it before: "Shine on, you crazy diamonds." Be your best self, whomever you perceive yourself to be. 

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