Seeing Eye to Eye

 

eye contact - noun - the act of looking directly into another's eyes (Google).

idiom - noun - a group of words with meaning not deducible from the individual words themselves.

English, particularly American English is filled with idioms, expressions, which may or may not contain figures of speech, used enough as to convey specific meanings. The idiom "seeing eye to eye" simply means sharing the same point of view or opinion with another individual. It has nothing to do with eye contact albeit a foreigner who is learning the English language might guess that it might, especially if the person is prone to literal interpretations. Oddly enough, you don't have to connect with someone's eyes in a direct manner if you two share the same opinion although it may help if you want the other person to trust you. Or if you just want someone to take you seriously.

Lately, at least in my line of work, I have been finding that the average person finds direct eye contact to be a bit uncomfortable. In case you didn't already know, I am a professional entertainer by day, a writer of music and prose by night, usually. Most would conjecture the opposite: entertainer by night, writer by day. However, my audiences are composed of people in nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and shelters. And most of these folks are asleep by 10 p.m. These well-rested types are engaged, appreciative and don't seem to own smartphones, which is a very good thing from the perspective of anyone in show business as no one in the spotlight likes to compete with screens no matter how small they are. 

Anyway, what I have been noticing lately is that when I look directly into a person's eyes (and gender has nothing to do with it), while singing, the person almost immediately looks away. Just what is that? It's not as though I am DaBaby, rapping away one obscenity after the next just to horrify these aged captive persons. I am usually singing a Sinatra favorite that contains nothing emotionally distressing unless you consider the lyrics in "Witchcraft" a bit too salacious. Would you consider "Those fingers in my hair; that wild, come hither stare; that strips my conscience bare" to be embarrassingly flirty? But the lyrics tend not to make a difference. I could be singing "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day" ("My Girl") directly to someone, and he or she still would still avert his or her eyes from mine. Huh? What is probably behind this odd happening is fear, the fear of seeing eye to eye, perhaps literally or figuratively. 

My advice would be to be brave when it comes to eye contact. Pretend that you are in a staring contest in middle school again and see how long you can stay engaged in a nonverbal conversation with someone using just your eyes. You may be surprised to find out that most people can speak well with their eyes and can reveal so much about themselves sans any words at all. But maybe that's why so many look away. They fear being vulnerable, baring their souls. I kind of think so. What do you think? 

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