Excrement and the Like

 

excrement - noun - waste matter discharged from the bowels; feces (Google).

Like many of you out there in cyberspace, I live in what is known as a suburb, a residential community on the fringe of an urban metropolis. My neighborhood is composed of single-family dwellings housing mainly young families. I can't quite fathom this myself, but when people find themselves marrying, having kids, and moving into homes like mine, they invariably feel that the experience of nesting for life cannot possibly be complete without the acquisition of a cat or a dog or both or multiples of one or the other. Don't misunderstand me. I respect and appreciate creatures great and small; it's their owners–the irresponsible ones–with whom I often have a problem. 

Case in point, this Sunday morning, I woke up and headed into my kitchen, looking for something to eat as I tend to do daily. Upon looking out of the window, I spied my next-door neighbor's one black cat (she has two) that had a definite agenda: to excrete excrement on my front lawn right beside my walkway. Now I am not superstitious or am a racist when it comes to humans or pets. Ordinarily, I have nothing against creatures of color, but this black cat I don't like at all. And the feeling is most likely mutual. Would you like a feline that purposely journeyed twenty more feet beyond its home territory just to crap on your lawn that you had paid $2,000 to have reseeded just last year? I'm thinking no, you wouldn't either. To make a long story shorter, after the cat did its duty in a slipshod way (the cats of a former generation used to bury their waste, but not indolent millennial cats), I took a shovel to the poop and placed it in a convenient spot–next to my neighbor's garbage can–where she just might step in it while putting out the trash. I thought it was the least I could do: return what is rightfully hers. Apparently, there are no laws governing the excretions of domestic cats because–and get this–it is assumed that "responsible" owners of cats keep them inside! For years, I have been reminding my next-door neighbor of this unwritten law, but anything I say to her seems to produce the identical response: a smile with a chaser of a laugh. So I'm screwed. 

Then there are my neighbors across the street, who after twenty years of foregoing pet ownership, decided to get a dog for their two teenage daughters who have better things to do (like spending hours on social media) than care for a dog. Because no one wants to walk the alienated mutt, they tie it to a tree outside, permitting it to bark pretty much all day long. (Mind you, the man of the house is a police officer, so you'd think he'd know better.)  I guess I should feel blessed that the dog (ironically named Faith) hasn't figured out how to break free from the chain that binds it so that it can visit my front yard and relieve itself as well. Thank Goodness for small favors!

The takeaway? If you just happen to own a cat or a dog, those of us who don't, can't fault you for adopting a lovable, furry family member, but can you please be considerate and responsible about caring for it? Thanks :). 

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