My Mother's Unoriginal Adages

 

adage - noun - proverb or short statement expressing a general truth (Google). 

Lately, I've been thinking about my mother, an idiosyncratic artist who passed suddenly in 1999. Often, she was unoriginal advisor, spouting borrowed adages from sources she could not recall off the bat. Paradoxically, even though she rarely took her own advice ("Do as I say, not as I do"), the proverbs were and are still worth remembering mainly because they are a rarity. Few bother to memorize and share axioms in this technologically obsessed society. Yet we all could benefit from their wisdom.

For those friends reading this blog who remember my mother or the curious few who might find them illuminating, the following compose some of my mother's most quoted aphorisms: 

1. "Live and let live" as opposed to Ian Fleming's Live and Let Die, the more popular of the two. (Hypocritically, my mother generally embroiled herself in feuds with neighbors albeit this one she used to break up fights between my sister and me.)

2. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," a saying from Poor Richard's Almanac courtesy of Ben Franklin, famous for fathering over sixty illegitimate children and perhaps a few other things. (My mother  never went to any doctors, which resulted in her untimely demise.)

3. "God helps those who help themselves." I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to hurl this one at an aggressive beggar. (By the way, my mother tended to say this to adult me; yet a day or so later, she'd send me a generous check.)

4. "He who expects nothing is never disappointed." Ironically, my mother had high expectations of everyone, my boyfriends in particular. Yet this is probably one of my favorites because in practice, it is actually true. Reduce your expectations, and happiness will stick to you like glue. 

5. "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Like many, I used to get bullied by older kids on the school bus, so this one came in handy as a retort after gibes like "Your mother wears army boots." I still remember the culprit's stunned reaction after my confident reprise of my mother's quote. (By the way, my mother could be verbally abusive when necessary, tempting me to use it against her; but I wouldn't dare. Back then, kids were actually afraid of their parents.)

6. "This, too, shall pass." This one I actually recite quite a bit in the present, especially to my daughter and friends who are faltering under the weight of stressful situations. 

"All things must pass" is a synonymous adage of the aforementioned. Everything and everyone are fragile in this life. My mother passed within minutes, and there was nothing anyone could do to save her. She left us with much, including the miscellaneous truths of her adages, the thought or recitation of which help to keep her alive for us today. 

Here's a positive adage (not one of my mom's) to leave you with: "Keep your face to the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you."

#word-to-words, #spilled thoughts, #vocabulary, #good advice, #personal essay, #vocabulary