The Assiduity of an Iguana

 

assiduity - noun - close attention to what one is doing (Google)

I am always quite amazed at what one can learn from creatures great and small. At the start of this week, I found myself trying to recover from the flu (round two for me inside of six months: shoulda, woulda, coulda gotten the flu shot) in Aruba of all places. As I lay on a chaise lounge chair in my five-dollar Primark black bikini, trying to escape a sunburn under the fronds of a palmetto adjacent to the waterfalls of the hotel's pool, an iguana that couldn't have cared less about me was attempting to climb the trunk of the palm tree. His assiduity was impressive. Although distrustful he would occasionally look over at me to ensure I wasn't up to something egregious, his focus was on getting to the top of the tree. Unfortunately, just when he thought he'd made progress, he would slip down to the starting point. At one point, he gave up altogether and headed for the falls so that at one point all that could be seen of him was his long tail, painted with green and black scales. But since he kept coming back and trying again and again, I figured that there must have been a reason. I looked up into the tree and saw his motivation: his Iguana mate dangling precariously, seductively from one of the palm fronds. Sex sells. I figured Mr. Iguana would keep making repeated tries to reach his goal, so I decided to give him and her some privacy and made a beeline to my room. 

What can be learned from this modern-day parable, starring his and her iguanas is that the world functions well on tenacity. All creatures are motivated to behave one way or the other, and many of us in the human and animal kingdoms have the same wants and needs that we are willing to work for patiently or impatiently. Ultimately, we all do what we do to survive and to maintain a

balance between pleasure and pain.

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The Tintinnabulation of Interesting People

 

tintinnabulation - noun - a ringing or tinkling sound.

I discovered the word tintinnabulation while reading a novel featuring a magician protagonist that a friend of mine had authored and self-published. During a recent trip to L.A., his home for the past forty years, he gave me a copy. It acted as a corporeal manifestation of good tidings since before that luncheon we had not seen one another since college, some 45 years ago. After hearing about what he had accomplished in the interim (an advanced degree in astrophysics, careers in space science, acting, and magic), I could hear the tintinnabulation of amazement as it was hard to believe that one person could achieve so much in such a relatively brief time period. 

And he was not the only friend in L.A. who had managed to become proficient at doing interesting things. My other friend, who had also been involved in the same university theater program as the astrophysicist and me, has been a successful, professional storyteller for years. And I bet you never thought that weaving stories orally in front of audiences could be lucrative. She told me that her occupation has defined her over the years and that she could not imagine life sans it. Of course, she could only live in either New York or L.A. to keep her passion alive, but those are the only two places she would want to exist in anyway. On the flight home, the tintinnabulation I heard was either the sound of the jet engine or my inner voice concluding that L.A. attracts interesting people. Maybe it was both?

If you have ever looked in the mirror and asked yourself why you are bored with your life, why everything that you do is part of a routine that boils down to cacophony rather than tintinnabulation, it is probably because you lack passion for what you do and are afraid to throw a wrench in the banality and make a change because it just may take some effort. Allow me to give you a few words of advice. FIND PASSION. Or FIND A PASSION. Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. The road from Point A to Point B is not as circuitous or stressful as you may think. It could just involve a small risk, like going down to the local community college and signing up for a class on something you have always wanted to pursue but could never find the time to do so. If you are over sixty (in my box), many course offerings could just be free. You never know. You might just find that you have a hidden talent, which will propel you from dull to fascinating in just a few months. 

As always, everything in life involves choice. Of course, if you are content living an ordinary life, then disregard all of the above. If you need some spice in that taco of existence, it is easily obtainable. It could be on the table right in front of you.

Life is short. Make the choice to live passionately.

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To Be Sanguine

 

sanguine - adjective - optimistic or positive in a particularly difficult situation

I have a favorite saying that of late has become a bit of a mantra or at least, a refrain for me: "Everything works out in the end." To be sanguine in any situation isn't easy, but sometimes, to keep one's sanity, it is essential. It also may give way to a self-fulfilling prophecy if Fate is in your corner. 

Last Monday, I looked at my adult daughter's twenty-five-year-old, free-standing basketball set-up leaning precariously in the direction of the garage and decided to sell it on Facebook Marketplace. Within a day after posting the ad, a polite yuppy who had just bought a house in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in an adjacent, upper-middle-class town messaged me to say he would buy it. Although I forewarned him that he would need a large truck and a few friends to lift it, he drove into my driveway in his shiny new Ford pick-up alone, armed with minimal tools, and the desire to perform miracles. After working unsuccessfully for an hour, he pretty much threw up his hands in defeat, gave up on the project, leaving me with payment and a fallen basketball set-up, the body of which lay disabled, prostrate on the macadam. The next day, I called several junk removers who speculated that it would cost me $200 to remove the mess. Armed with my optimistic mantra (and a brief prayer), I kept the faith that someone else on FB might just be interested in it for free. I was right. 

A man, ironically named Jesus and just as authentically Christian as his namesake, arrived from the wrong side of the tracks with all of the right tools, a big enough truck and a precocious, teenaged son (named Lucas, close enough to Luke), who had all of the right questions and answers both in Spanish and in English. Between the two, they were able to eliminate the unnecessary weight in the base of the stand so that they had the remains of the set-up in the truck within minutes. Jesus handed me a twenty that I didn't want to take, but he insisted. The whole ordeal I chalked up to serendipity as I watched them drive off  with smiles on their faces and a lot of metal in the way back. If you are thinking what I am thinking (this woman is under the protection of angels), both of us are probably correct.  

The moral of the story is binary: 1. Sanguine individuals who put positive vibes out into the Universe (particularly around high holy days) are rarely disappointed. 2. "Everything works out in the end." 

Rest assured that everything does work out, one way or the other, in the end. 

Happy Easter! Happy Passover! 

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Netflix and the Secret of Loving Longer

 

longevity - noun - long existence or service (Google)

The word longevity usually refers to length of life, but it also can relate to any abstract concept, like love, that lasts a long time. Last night, I turned to Netflix hoping to find a documentary that would speak to me. One that came with a 98% recommendation was "My Love," a short series of biographies detailing the ordinary lives of couples who have somehow managed to stay together through thick or thin for fifty years or more. As I am always enthralled by how some people can swing romantic longevity, I clicked on the start arrow. 

Admittedly, I did not make it through all of the first episode due to the fact that it was extremely slow moving, I was tired, and my foam mattress was beckoning to me from the next bedroom. However, I did learn something from the twenty or so minutes that I watched. The Vermont couple featured, wed for sixty years (give or take), were (and may still are) the owners and operators of a farm producing maple syrup (no surprises there, given regional stereotypes). Given what I know about ardor in the 1950s, their backstory seemed quite ordinary enough. They had met in high school although she had not paid him much heed owing to a crush on his friend. Yet–albeit initially unrequited–his love for her had been at first sight. A few years later, at 24, he proposed to her. Despite being nineteen at the time, she accepted. They wound up marrying, raising six children together, and staying put in the same clapboard farmhouse for decades. 

Sounds a bit ho hum? No, not really. These two have succeeded in solving a confounding equation involving an uncommon denominator: the longevity of romantic love. Ostensibly, what it takes for two to last forever is as follows: 1. Affection: Although both husband and wife are in their eighties, neither has been capable of keeping his/her hands off each other (at least during the taping). 2. Common purpose: Both have been involved in the daily operations of their company for a very long time. 3. Unconditional acceptance: The husband has tolerated his wife's vibrant personality in the spotlight, whereas she has condoned his being antisocial in the shadows. 4. Consistence: The husband has never fallen out of love with his wife, and she has never failed to return his love. 5. Engagement: There has been a lot of back and forth in terms of communication. Neither has shut out the other. 

So there you have it. The five-part secret of how people stay together interminably has just been revealed. Yes, love longevity is possible (if only in Vermont :) ). 

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What Can Be Learned via Facebook Marketplace

 

purveyor - noun - a person who sells or deals in particular goods (Google).

I'm the sort of person who fights the impulse to lapse into a dilatory mindset by thinking and acting way in advance of a due date. Despite wanting to live in the moment, I often find that if I do, Time eats and digests me, and I wind up in the belly of a stressful situation, such as moving. Next year, I am planning to relocate across the country. Rather than wait until a month before the actual transition, I am selling off a lot of items I have accumulated for years in my present residence in order to lighten the load and save a few dollars. How? Through Facebook Marketplace, which I am told is the only way to go. 

If you do not consider yourself a purveyor of any kind (I, on the other hand, have been a pro at selling everything, including myself, since I was four), you may be a bit squeamish initially. I can totally understand as the worst part of the process is dealing with charlatans who claim they are interested, commit to buying, tell you they will show up with cash at your door at 8 a.m. and don't. Indeed, like many often do, they wind up with the Fickle Finger of Fate Award instead of your thirty-year-old FAX machine. And you, of course, are out twenty dollars. 

Then there is the product that you post that everyone seems to want, but doesn't care to own. In my case, it is a Chucky doll, the grotesque, toddling horror from the classic horror movie Child's Play, which premiered decades ago. I have had four hundred Chucky fans click on my post, a dozen tell me they are definitely interested in owning the doll, yet I still haven't sold it. Go figure. Maybe the moral is never to trust people who obsess over symbols of evil? 

Conversely, there are moments of unexpected triumph, which serve to keep me in the capricious game. One came when I sold my junior, folding pool table to a sweet family of recent immigrants who were so ebullient at the prospect of playing billiards in their own home that they left me feeling just as enthusiastic about no longer having the same luxury. Interestingly enough, the entire transaction took place within a day, making it the easiest transfer of property on record albeit the table almost didn't fit into their SUV. 

In summary, what I have learned from being a purveyor on Facebook Marketplace is basically that people will be people. There are the good, the bad, the ugly. There are the kind, the committed, the rude, the disingenuous. I could go on and on, but I won't. What I will do despite the positives and negatives is continue to purvey until I am down to a reasonable amount of goods that I can fit into a Pod that will cost me under 10K. I'm glad I'm giving myself a year in advance. And I'm glad that I am giving human nature a fighting chance at coming through for me. 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #good advice, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #CreativeSuggestion, #criticism, #critique 

The Gadfly and the Oscars

 

gadfly - noun - an annoying person, especially one who provokes others into action by criticism. (Google)

Unfortunately, there are times when I can be a gadfly, but gladly, I am not alone since these are provocative times that frequently fall to criticism. Take "annoying" out of the definition, though, and the rest is not bad. If criticism, a negative, can propel people into positive action, then it's all good. Allow me a bit of space to do just that.

Last night, some of us (perhaps you included) stayed up to watch the Oscars on ABC television. For the past few years, the presentation has motivated many a gadfly to criticize it, mainly because the show has diminished in scope, digressing from truly entertaining to barely watchable. Did the content seem to be lacking in organization and purpose to you? Was it just mediocre because the cinematic nominees this year were as lackluster and self-possessed as most of the acceptance speeches? To tell you the truth, I was so bored with the ceremony that I took to doodling, and my daughter 2700 miles away in L.A., whom I was texting, took to cooking. Was anyone else other than the mothers of those involved paying attention? 

Truthfully, because the Oscars are no longer creative as a whole–years ago, there were once motifs and themes to be had–I only stay up late enough to see the "In Memoriam" segment because of morbid curiosity: I want to see how many noteworthy individuals connected with the industry have passed. Usually there are a few surprises. Often someone whom I thought had died years ago comes up on the list as someone who has passed recently. Sadly, I was not surprised this year with anything other than a grieving John Travolta, who introduced the reel of lost Hollywood talent. I assumed that his tears were related to the loss of his Grease co-star Olivia Newton- John; however, since her photo and death date were somehow stricken from the records, his emotional outpouring lacked a clear connection unless he had known and had worked with everyone mentioned. I have no idea. 

Of course, there is always an actor in the mix who should have won, but who winds up being slighted, which gives the gadfly additional fuel to stay in flight complaining. This year it was Austin Butler, Elvis in the film Elvis who comes off as more titillating and talented than Elvis himself, which is no small feat. According to insiders, Brendon Fraser received the honors for Best Actor because the voting members of the Academy love a comeback. Well, to that I say, because of Butler's magnificence at portraying the King on screen, long deceased Elvis saw yet another comeback, bigger and better than he had had in 1968. (I know because I was actually alive back then.) So why didn't the Academy recognize Butler's vicarious return as Elvis? You had my vote, Austin, although I am a member of the wrong academy.

Gadfly or not, I must offer this suggestion to the producers of the Oscars: You should find some truly innovative writers to weave and stitch together future remnants so that there is cohesion when it comes to the content of their three-hour variety show. And you members of the Academy need to reward actors who perform believably the most demanding roles, no matter what their age, race, culture, religion, etc. The high-school popularity contest should have left the Kodak building a long time ago, perhaps along with the real Elvis, who was most likely never there anyway :). 

Power to the gadflies out there who change the status quo favorably.

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Hooking Up: The Three R's

 

hook up - verb - (when two people) meet and connect 

"Hook up" can mean and/or imply more than one thing; however, what the definitions have in common is  a connection. The three R's come in after the two meet and connect on an intimate level. In the hook u, there is a progression involved that usually involves mutual choice. What are the three R's? They are as follows:

1. Romance

2. Relationship

3. Roommates

Initially, if the connection is electrical (metaphorically speaking, of course), the ends (persons) that meet spark into a romance, which is the heady state of any hook up, the optimal stage. At this time, both participants are over-the-moon in love and are willing to do things they never before contemplated, especially for the other person. You know, like purchase airfare to the Maldives and luxury accommodations while there and charge the amount to an overly taxed credit card. Needless to say, they can't keep their hands off of each other regardless of where they are. 

By the time the Visa or MasterCard (etc.) is paid off, most likely the duo has fallen out of the romance and into "a loving relationship." A term that I personally don't really like very much because at this stage of the game, the fantasy is over. The four feet (two and two) are now firmly planted on the ground (being somewhat distanced from each other), and the conversation has modulated from "Which bottle of champagne should we get?" at the upscale, see-and-be-seen, boutique eatery to "Do you think we should move in together?" over coffee at McDonald's. They have to pre-arrange a once-a-week date night in order to squeeze in some carnal knowledge. At this stage, said couple has started to tread on thin ice. Because if they do move in together and find out that they really have nothing in common or find each other intolerably aggravating in one way or another, they wind up roommates.

As roommates, the two go back to living separate lives. They hardly engage at all. If they do, the conversation is usually on the domestic side, such as, "Person 1: I took out the garbage yesterday; it's your turn. Person 2: No, it's not." In addition, sadly, the selfless inquiry, "How was your day?" present in stages 1 and 2 goes unanswered daily. At this point, most likely the two are sleeping in separate bedrooms. And the sex... What's sex? Eventually, someone moves out. FIN. It's over. 

Cynical? Yup. Realistic? Yup. At one time or the other, we have all been there, done that. But rewind back to the beginning. Is it possible to hook up and remain in a romance? You bet. Does it take work? Yup. Are you ready, willing, and able to do said work? Is the other person? Don't either of you "quiet quit" on me now. As Nike would say, "Just do it." 

When it comes to the love light, hook it up, screw in the bulb with the most wattage as a couple. Keep it glowing at the same intensity even if it costs you both more time, money, selfless consideration :). 

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