Hooking Up: The Three R's

 

hook up - verb - (when two people) meet and connect 

"Hook up" can mean and/or imply more than one thing; however, what the definitions have in common is  a connection. The three R's come in after the two meet and connect on an intimate level. In the hook u, there is a progression involved that usually involves mutual choice. What are the three R's? They are as follows:

1. Romance

2. Relationship

3. Roommates

Initially, if the connection is electrical (metaphorically speaking, of course), the ends (persons) that meet spark into a romance, which is the heady state of any hook up, the optimal stage. At this time, both participants are over-the-moon in love and are willing to do things they never before contemplated, especially for the other person. You know, like purchase airfare to the Maldives and luxury accommodations while there and charge the amount to an overly taxed credit card. Needless to say, they can't keep their hands off of each other regardless of where they are. 

By the time the Visa or MasterCard (etc.) is paid off, most likely the duo has fallen out of the romance and into "a loving relationship." A term that I personally don't really like very much because at this stage of the game, the fantasy is over. The four feet (two and two) are now firmly planted on the ground (being somewhat distanced from each other), and the conversation has modulated from "Which bottle of champagne should we get?" at the upscale, see-and-be-seen, boutique eatery to "Do you think we should move in together?" over coffee at McDonald's. They have to pre-arrange a once-a-week date night in order to squeeze in some carnal knowledge. At this stage, said couple has started to tread on thin ice. Because if they do move in together and find out that they really have nothing in common or find each other intolerably aggravating in one way or another, they wind up roommates.

As roommates, the two go back to living separate lives. They hardly engage at all. If they do, the conversation is usually on the domestic side, such as, "Person 1: I took out the garbage yesterday; it's your turn. Person 2: No, it's not." In addition, sadly, the selfless inquiry, "How was your day?" present in stages 1 and 2 goes unanswered daily. At this point, most likely the two are sleeping in separate bedrooms. And the sex... What's sex? Eventually, someone moves out. FIN. It's over. 

Cynical? Yup. Realistic? Yup. At one time or the other, we have all been there, done that. But rewind back to the beginning. Is it possible to hook up and remain in a romance? You bet. Does it take work? Yup. Are you ready, willing, and able to do said work? Is the other person? Don't either of you "quiet quit" on me now. As Nike would say, "Just do it." 

When it comes to the love light, hook it up, screw in the bulb with the most wattage as a couple. Keep it glowing at the same intensity even if it costs you both more time, money, selfless consideration :). 

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