blind - adj. - having little or no usable vision; done without being able to see or without being in possession of certain information (Oxford Languages)
For the past two weeks, I have been recovering from minor surgery, which has left me bedridden and therefore vulnerable to binge watching TV series. Although I am not one to go for reality television and don't have an addictive personality, I have been finding Netflix's "Love Is Blind" (U.S., U.K. and France) to be a consuming, guilty pleasure (or displeasure depending on the circumstances). It may be because I am a sucker for a solid sociological experiment that involves romance. In case you have been avoiding this popular series, the premise involves matching up couples, sight unseen, not entirely unlike "The Dating Game" of the 1970s. The participants (most between the ages of 29-39) meet in pods connected via a wall, so the only way they can get to know each other is via conversation for ten days initially. As the pool of eligible singles diminishes, the time allotted increases to nineteen to twenty hours. The total time amounts to about ten days, comparable to months of dating in the real world. If the couples fall in love blindly, there is a proposal at which point they are released from the pods to meet in reality. Because the majority of the contestants are easy on the eye, no one that I have witnessed has balked at the point of revelation. To make a somewhat long summary a bit shorter, the now engaged couples are then whisked off to a romantic, tropical destination where they can get to know each other more intimately (meaning physically). If they survive this, they return to civilization to live together for about month before they actually marry formally. The clincher is that each has the ability to decline the offer at the alter, and many do. Perhaps an equal amount of the women and men have refused the prospect of a life-long commitment right at the very last minute, providing a significant amount of suspense, hence, the draw for most viewers. Bets are placed as to who will take the initial plunge, and if they do, who will survive the first year of marriage. The final episode shot a year later is a reunion of the couples. At this point, the viewers can collect on their bets as all reveal whether or not they are still together.
The takeaway for me has been educational in terms of who Millennials are and how they love. I have studied all three versions of the series filmed respectively in the US, UK, and France. I was surprised at what may be considered to be "cultural differences." The American singles (Season 9: Denver) were rather stereotypically unpolished: bawdy (blatantly profane), bold (the women were not shy about reveling their breasts and jumping into bed with their men), big (some of the women were generously curvy) and maudlin. Most were tattooed. On the other hand, the Brits and French were somewhat more reserved in terms of their dress and physical appearance overall, word choice, sense of humor, and willingness to share sexual experiences. In all three series, the occupations varied tremendously across the board, but the American women placed the most emphasis on socio-economic status. The polite Brits and analytical French were blind to racial differences, probably because both countries have always had ties to other countries via the colonialism of the past. The crew from Colorado was mainly white.
After watching all three, I found that very few of the couples that married remained together after a year or more. For example at present, after two seasons of the UK version, only three out of twelve potential marriages remain in tact (25%). The percentage is lower for the Americans. Out of nine seasons and a potential of 54 marriages, only nine couples are still together or roughly 16%. Love is definitely not blind. What kept the couples in all three nations from concentrating on what they found lovable as blind seekers in the pods was for the men, a hesitance to compromise and commit thoroughly, and for the women, unrealistically high expectations and lack of empathy. Out of the three, the Americans were the most immature (a few were Gen Z), which is mainly why none in Season 9 were able to say yes at the alter. All of the reunion shows enabled the couples to reflect back on their strengths and weaknesses. All walked away carrying valuable baggage: experience navigating romantic relationships.
What I learned as a viewer is that human beings need more than the ability to have lively conversations in order to cohabitate. True love has to be blind to an extent. Couples need not be afraid to accept each other at face value and be a bit more selfless so that compromise is possible.
#Love Is Blind, #society, #love relationships, #reality series, #blog, #personal essay
No comments:
Post a Comment