Duckology

 

duckology - noun - (a neologism coined by me) - the study of the fundamental nature of ducks. 

duck - noun - a water bird with a broad, blunt bill, short legs, webbed feet, and a waddling gait (Google).

I don't know about you, but I adore ducks. Definitely. If reincarnation is a reality, I'd like to come back to this planet as a duck. Why? Despite their somewhat awkward outward appearance, in terms of their abilities, they are the next best thing to Marvel superheroes. 

According to Google (a reliable source), ducks can walk relatively long distances, swim as long as they want, dive down 240 feet to catch fish, and then upon exiting the pond, dry off instantaneously just by ruffling their feathers before flying off. In fact, ducks can soar above most small planes, reaching an altitude of 21,000 feet and speed of nearly 60 mph, surpassing most biplanes. Although not all breeds of ducks mate for life (most mate for just the mating season, which is about eight months), the whistling duck, like the swan, mates for life. Not too many species, including humans, can pull that off. Ducks, like happily married persons, get so emotionally attached to their mates that if their mates die, they grieve the loss, often falling into duck depression. Which is extremely tragic especially as ducks have no way of connecting with licensed psychotherapists. Not that I or Google knows of anyway. 

Those who don't like ducks peg them as "dirty" and as "rapists," but since ducks act on instinct, the males' aggressiveness toward unprotected, virginal, single females is merely a means of guaranteeing that the species perpetuates. (Apparently, female ducks have complicated vaginas that are hard to penetrate. Yikes! TMI.) Obviously, ducks do not have the moral sense to understand that they are being sex offenders. And fortunately, neither the human legal system nor the law enforcement community considers them felonious. (Thank Goodness! Can you imagine male ducks sharing cells with convicted human rapists in prisons? Hahaha!) So why should anyone else? (Ah, give'm a chance! They are so cute!)

My idea to coin the term "duckology" came last week when I was about to take a dip in my apartment complex's heated pool. Atypically, out from behind the chaise lounge chairs waddled a handsome Mallard couple, making a beeline for the pool. Of course, I had to film their flight for TikTok audiences, not thinking they would have the gall to step into the pool with me around. Not only did they enter the pool (and rather delicately by putting one webbed foot in at a time), they had the audacity to remain floating around in the pool while I did laps. Eventually, though, I unintentionally managed to create a wake that started to make them seasick enough to exit the pool as elegantly as they had entered. After drying off doggy style (but with far less vehemence and flying H2O droplets), the two sauntered over to a cabana to rest–as anyone would–protected from the sun. 

From a safe distance, I became immersed in duckology (the fundamental study of ducks) via silent observation. I noticed that the female Mallard fell asleep almost immediately, whereas her male did not. He chose to keep watch vigilantly in order to protect her from me or any other human (or "rapist" ducks) in the vicinity. Although I was far enough away not to be threat, he wasn't going to take any risks. When I finally decided to leave, I couldn't help but think that we humans, possessing the ability to rationalize, could definitely learn something from these water birds with minuscule brains. 

Ducks can be benignly savvy. For one, the duck pairs treat each other with much more respect and genuine caring than a large cross section of the human population. They are also incredibly loyal to each other. Impressive. 

The older I get, the more aware I become of miraculous Mother Nature, probably because I take the time to notice. I hope the next time you are in a park, if you see any ducks, think of duckology and do a little observing yourself. You might just learn something that I didn't, something positive that you can apply to your own life to improve it. 

Just sayin'. 

#blog, #PersonalNarrative, #ducks, #SliceOfLife, #nature