soporific - adjective - tending to induce drowsiness or sleep (Google)
The battle between the sexes has been waged ad infinitum for decades despite being complicated by the addition of an alternative gender. In fact, the debate between Venus (female) and Mars (male) has been so overplayed that some might feel that it has become soporific. We've been there, done that so the mere mention of the topic makes us drowsy with boredom.
I'm going to throw a wrench in that engine. Just recently, via research, I've discovered a major difference between women and men that could just be the cause of an increase in the break-up rate among heterosexual couples: romance. Men and women define it differently.
Although you may disagree (if you do, you have probably been married for too long), when it comes to perpetuating romantic love, romance is key. Without it, this type of love is just, well, love sans specifics. To men, romance boils down to sex. The more, the better. A romantic date to them reflects testosterone, meaning something physical must be involved. Think fishing, hiking, golfing, skiing, jogging, playing pickle ball. Am I right, ladies? If men are thinking of what their women want at all, at the end of the day, they might include dinner at a moderately priced restaurant. And they might even pick up the entire tab if they think they might have a chance at the golden ring. You know, sex.
Women, on the other hand, tend to be more emotionally intelligent than their male counterparts. Because estrogen rules us even after it is nearly nonexistent, most of us have a love language that includes affection, poetic compliments (albeit this could be a stretch), and gestures (often a total stretch). A dozen red roses? They are a bit trite, but okay. We'll take what we can get.
I was lucky enough, or unlucky enough, to have had a 24-year romance (not a relationship) with a man who referred to himself as a "gay, straight man" because he was fully in tune with his feminine side as well as his masculine side. He was above and beyond Casanova when it came to pleasing me, both in and out of bed. And most of the nonsexual gestures had little to do with money and more to do with imagination and perhaps, genuine ardor. For example, he would cook me gourmet dinners served before the fireplace. Afterwards we would slow dance to songs we sang to each other. He would draw me bubble baths in a candlelit bathroom, frequently joining me in the tub. Since he rented a small cabin on a flower farm, to prepare for my visits, he would pick myriad bouquets and fill every room with them. Breakfast in bed came every Sunday morning for all of the years that we were together. Even though we are no longer together due to a complication that can't be helped, I will always be in love with him because of his degree of sensitivity, creativity, and selflessness. At present, I am now "unlucky" in that I am so spoiled that no other man whom I have dated since has ever been able to live up to his example. Why? Most men are from Mars; women are from Venus. Ugh. I'm feeling soporific just thinking about it.
The takeaway? Men, if you want to keep women of high value in your life, you are going to have to pony up in the romance department if you haven't done so already. Valentine's Day is vast approaching. Although everyday should be Valentine's Day in a romantic relationship, the actual day is the perfect starting off point for you to spice things up in the romance department.
Just sayin'.
#word-to-words, #slice-of-life, #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #L.A.fires, #romantic love, #romance, #Valentine's Day, #heterosexual love
No comments:
Post a Comment