The Long Way to L.A.

circumnavigation - noun - the act of traveling all the way around (Google).

Just in case some of you might have missed my presence on this blog, I have been "on vacation." Twenty days ago, my daughter and I disembarked from our home base in Jersey in order to drive across the country in eleven days. The mission? To deposit her and a fully packed 2013 Mazda 3 at UCLA, where she will be studying for her MBA. Admittedly, I had a cross-country adventure on my bucket list for quite sometime, yet the opportunity to go had never arisen until July 7, 2022. A couple of nights ago, I flew back to Jersey from L.A., making the circumnavigation complete. The driven route? Jersey through PA to Cleveland, Ohio (for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, of course), through Indiana to Chicago, Illinois, a half day's trip to Dyersville, Iowa to experience Heaven at the Field of Dreams, through South Dakota (loved the Badlands), Wyoming, Colorado, Utah (visited four out of the five national parks), Arizona (for about ten minutes), Nevada, and then finally, to Southern California (LaLa Land). 

Needless to say, a journey of nearly 3,000 miles contains more than a few "teachable" moments. Fortunately, we did not experience any hardships, such as engine trouble or a tire blowout, but in Colorado, we did witness one while accelerating up a mountain pass, and it wasn't pretty. (We were smart to have had new Dunlaps installed pre-departure.) From the traversing, what I learned about this country that I didn't already know was that 1. GMC or Ford pickups often with country music blaring are ubiquitous as are the men with sundry baseball caps who pilot them 3. the Democrats are right in that the country's infrastructure (mainly the roads) is crumbling (yet no one seems to care) 4. there are arrow-straight highways that are virtually empty warranting speed limits of 80 mph although that isn't fast enough for most who transcend it 5. Utah has the most entertaining, mercurial scenery 6. young people party in pools during the day now in Las Vegas 7. the 405 in L.A. isn't as bad as it is made out to be if you are from the New York area 8. most of the country is empty space as the bulk of the population lives in cities. 

I could probably go on and on and on, but I'll save you from my written loquaciousness. Just what is the primary takeaway, you ask? This country of ours (if you happen to be in it) and the miscellaneous folks who live in it are pretty amazing. If you haven't been out of your own state in a while, you owe it to yourself to do a little driving. Even though it may not be the optimal time due to exorbitant gas prices, you can think of it this way: perhaps there will never be "the right time" to do much of anything. As Nike pronounces, "Just do it." You'll be happy you did. 

#word-to-words, #spilled thoughts, #vocabulary, #good advice, #personal essay, #vocabulary 

Labels of Distinction

 

misandrist - noun - a person who dislikes, despises, or is prejudiced against men.

Admittedly, I am not fond of labels, distinct or indistinct, albeit today, most, particularly those in marginalized groups, seem to be. Categories or nomenclature permits people specifically to find their place and define themselves and other entities, nouns: persons, places, things, concepts, creatures. When it comes to differentiating among humans, the labels range from the positive ("gay") to the negative ("bipolar"), distinguishing everything from sexuality to mental state. Obviously, labels are nothing new. Human beings have been using them to classify for thousands of years. As our intelligence has expanded (or not), so has our ability to use words to put each other in boxes.

Case in point: Last Friday, I was fortunate enough to find myself at a party on Bertrand Island in the middle of Lake Hopatcong, bordered to the west (I think) by a hamlet known as Mount Arlington. On a annual basis, a dear friend of mine (once my bassist, now the mayor of the town) and his wife invite all of their friends to view the July 4th fireworks from the comfort of their porch, which just happens to be across from where the multicolored sparkle-booms are set off from a barge in the center of the lake. A few years ago, I just happened to date a character of a man, very similar to the fictive Jay Gatsby, but much more damaged, who rents a cottage (not unlike Nick Carraway's in Fitzgerald's prized novel) adjacent to the elite, antique yacht club (similar in look to the Buchanan's manse) across the street from my friends'. What is ironic here is that when I met the man on an internet dating service, I had no idea that he lived anywhere near my friends. Jay's wife, his former high-school sweetheart, had left him years ago, something he has never gotten past, enabling him to resort to extreme womanizing to eliminate the pain and avenge his shattered ego. 

The thing was, all of us at the gathering familiar with Jay and his exploits felt the need to define him more concisely and accurately and quickly decided on misogynist. In an effort to defend himself and other men who are genuinely chivalrous to women, one of the gentleman participating in the conversation asked if there was a term for women who detest men. No one, not even I, the English teacher, could think of it (which is definitely telling). I came up with misanthrope, someone who despises all people. (Believe me, I've tried on that label and found that it doesn't fit as well as Ralph Lauren :)). Out of impatience, we wound up taking to our phones to uncover just the right term: misandrist, close to misanthrope, but not quite. Notice that all three terms lacking in endearment begin with an "m," which is not a coincidence since the prefix "mis" means bad or wrong, and all three words have negative connotations and denotations. Eureka! We had found the right label of the moment.

Labeling is part of what we humans do quite naturally. Unfortunately by doing so, we will continue to separate as opposed to unify, but maybe the takeaway here is to remember that when we do assign labels that we assign them fairly and accurately. If we want to pigeonhole someone by assigning him or her a derogatory designation, we should have enough in the way of expertise and/or hard evidence to do so. The problem is that most of us rely more on opinions than facts (subjectivity as opposed to objectivity and I, for one, am among the guilty of doing just that). But perhaps I'll leave that subject to explored in yet another blog. To be continued...or not. 

#word-to-words, #spilled thoughts, #vocabulary, #good advice, #personal essay, #vocabulary