Caveat Emptor and On-Line Dating

 

caveat emptor - Latin - "Let the buyer beware." The buyer assumes the risk that a product may fail to meet expectations or have defects. (Google)

When it comes to purchasing anything, caveat emptor should come to mind and stay there. Whether you are contemplating making a big purchase, such as buying a car like I am, or if you are thinking of signing up with an on-line dating app, you should be aware that the end result may not come up to snuff. There are always risks involved. I'd hate to imply that people can be bought and sold, but let's face it. We can be because we allow ourselves to be via agencies such as eHarmony and Match.com. I know because I experimented with both (and a few more "free" dating services) about four years ago without first making the connection between caveat emptor and internet hook-ups. The twenty-six "products" whose profiles I purchased and I dated not only failed to meet expectations, they were also seriously defective. Ergo, I walked away, dissatisfied and tentatively cynical. 

That being mentioned, I do know people who were successful with on-line dating services. Two women in particular set out to secure men ripe for marriage, both met available, relatively impressive men on J-Date, dated them for about a year and are now legally wed to their conquests. Are they blissfully happy? No. But perhaps they didn't take caveat emptor into consideration from the get-go and rushed into commitments based on superficialities. (What can I say? I did forewarn them.)

On the gender flip side, one of my platonic, single male friends, who is in his sixties, is currently exploring the cyber field of romance. However, his past two dates have made him especially wary. Both women who live on the Upper Westside of Manhattan are well-to-do, altruistic types with just the right breeds of dogs, adult children, and summer homes in the Hamptons. On paper, they come across as perfect just as many people, places, or things do in advertisements. Well, if you believe that Me-Too can extend to men as well, these women came up way short in terms of his expectations. After only a few short hours chatting up each of these women (on separate occasions, of course), both expressed themselves aggressively in public by pouncing on him when they thought the moment was especially right and giving him unneeded, unwanted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation in the French mode. Obviously, both thought he was ready, willing, and able, but he wasn't– albeit he didn't fight off either woman, which gave each the impression that he welcomed her forwardness. Stultifying chagrin rendered him fair game, I suppose. Afterwards, my friend, who prides himself on being decent and decorous, was quite disgusted, so much so that he is contemplating canceling his subscriptions to Bumble and Match.com and returning to meeting potential dates via outmoded means, either through friends of friends or in supermarket checkout lines, both equally as risky.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not against looking for Mr. or Ms. Right on-line or anywhere else as long as he or she doesn't turn out to be Mr. or Ms. Goodbar. For that not to happen, caveat emptor must always be heeded. 

Good luck to all of you in the market of love. Carpe diem! 

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