romance - noun - a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. 2. a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement and remoteness from everyday life (Google).
"Romance" is one of numerous abstractions that is openly defiant of objectivity. Indeed, everyone possesses her or his own conception of it. When I think of the term, I automatically revert back a few centuries to medieval times when chivalry was the name of the game, and knights jousted to win or hold on tightly to the hearts of their obsequious women who observed them loyally on the sidelines, waving flags cut from their insignias. As a retired high school English teacher specializing in British literature, I also think of the plethora of Romantic poets, men like Wordsworth, Shelley, Keats, and Blake, who graced the late 1700s with their ethereal imagery created by now antiquated, yet beatific language. Ahhh, I sigh grievously as I doubt the poets in the present will ever be able to hold a candle to them. But these reflections of romance are mine. What about everyone else's? How do others define romance?
In an effort to uncover the real meaning of romance, I took to the internet, naturally. When I Googled "romance," a found a short series of questions, the first being, "What is the real meaning of romance?" Ah, ha! How apt that Google should anticipate my query! Unfortunately, its answer wasn't all that agreeable. In fact it created a conundrum for me since I thought I knew where it might go with this, but it turned out sharing something completely unforeseen: "Romance is a relationship between two people who are in love with each other but who are not married to each other" (Collins-English Dictionary). Ouch! What a humiliating smack in the face for those engaged in wedded bliss! It is as though Collins (whoever he is) reserves the "feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love" only for dating singles. Really? I could wax cynical and say that Collins is probably correct, but that would be a bit unkind, especially to my legions of legally attached friends.
Unscathed and undeterred, I continued my search for knowledge, coming across romance defined separately via the opposing sexes. Apparently, women define romance as "words and behaviors that represent that they are loved, cherished, valued, respected, and desired." Which is a bit nonspecific, but I think you can get the gist of it. However, men connected romance with "everyday displays of love, like expressing interest in what they are thinking, feeling, and wanting." No surprises there. It seems obvious that both genders associate romance with the need for attention and desire for a degree of recognition. (Uh, ah! It's a bit sad that the selfish gene is actively at work here, but it makes sense.)
As my quest did not impart what I was looking for, I closed my laptop feeling a bit deflated. Surely there must be a better takeaway? A more substantial, a tad more altruistic answer to the question posed? And then Don Quixote popped into my head. Yes! The quest for the impossible dream! Cervantes' quixotic Don is the perennial lover of love, believer in all that is inconceivable, the penultimate romantic. For those who are searching for just the right definition of romance, don't think beyond Quixote. :)
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