An Indecorous Weekend

indecorous - adjective - not in keeping with good taste and propriety (Google)

As a content, part-time retiree, sometimes–but not often–I miss the daily routine of the workplace. Banal as some of it was, I always looked forward to the indefatigable question, "How was your weekend?" which at least one colleague invariably would ask me each Monday morning. Since this Monday came and went sans the question, on this Tuesday morning, I find myself asking, How was the weekend? Hmm. The good outweighed the bad as per usual, but the indecorous events–three in particular–still linger. 

As you may or may not have noticed, decorum in our society is no longer in vogue. For the most part, it has died out with the passing of each individual belonging to the Last Generation, truly the last generation to read, digest and exemplify Emily Post's Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage. To Ms. Post (1872-1960), decorum or good manners began with considering others' feelings first, something that is no longer high on priority lists even though I did notice when I Googled "Emily Post" that Obama has a book out on manners albeit I doubt that it has been a runaway bestseller. On the page devoted to Post, there was a question posed, "Is Emily Post still relevant?" The answer was disheartening because it mentioned the near-deceased fine art of writing a thank-you note. Guess what, Google? There are VERY few people (particularly young people) who bother to sit down and write a thank-you note in their own handwriting on a card or stationery. (Some of you are probably asking, "What's stationery?" at this moment.) So much for Post's contemporary relevance. 

But I digress somewhat. And now for...the incidents. Incident #1: On Friday, I invited an ex-boyfriend to join me and my daughter at a local pub to watch UNC play UCLA in basketball. He had gotten to the bar two hours beforehand and managed to ingratiate himself with the perfect strangers who surrounded him at the bar. When we arrived, he pretty much ignored us, preferring his "new friends" as companions over us. So much for chivalry or manners. On Saturday morning, after I had forwarded him Bill Maher's most recent closing monologue featuring men who no longer make an effort, he didn't associate it with his own actions. Out of frustration, I didn't waste any breath explaining my purpose in sending it. Ironically, this man still has no idea why I or any of his other girlfriends or wives dumped him as a romantic partner.

Incident #2: On Sunday, I attended a swank party celebrating my talent agency's thirtieth birthday at the Grammy Museum ensconced within the Prudential Center of Newark. The ticket to the event came with a ticket to a New Jersey Devils' hockey game. While we were being ferried from the museum to the arena, an indecorous miscreant Devils' fan–a grown man who was in the neighborhood of forty–was being detained for stealing fifteen baseball caps that were supposed to be doled out to attendees on a complimentary basis. Since they were "free," he saw no reason why he couldn't just take as many as he wanted. Obviously, he had never been introduced to Ms. Post.

Incident #3: Will Smith vs. Chris Rock at the Academy Awards. I won't even bother to relate the details because you already know them. All I have to say is that if Emily Post were invited to that shindig, after witnessing that fray, she would've passed out, not from an overly tight corset but from horror. And smelling salts would not have been available to revive her. 

What it comes down to is this: we as a society seriously need to begin to consider the feelings of others first. "Me, too" does not translate into "Me, always." "To thine own self be true" means don't do anything that isn't indicative of who you are. It doesn't mean to put yourself first in every situation. Selfishness only gives way to misery as the aforementioned examples illustrate. 

Today, Tuesday, take the "in" out of "indecorous" and do something mannerly, something for someone else. You will find that the experience will be heartwarming. 

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