The Marmoreal Fountain of Youth

  

marmoreal - adjective - made of or likened to marble (Google).

Ever since the 16th century explorer Juan Ponce deLeon embarked from his homeland of Spain to find the Fountain of Youth, most of us have been searching for it as well. The irony is that deLeon thought it would be in Florida, a contemporary Mecca where thousands around seventy years old flock to retire each year. In fact, so many reside there now that it has been labeled, "God's waiting room," a far cry from the "Spring of Perpetual Pimples" or Peter Pan's Never, Neverland. Like deLeon, the septuagenarians arrive in Miami and other Floridian hot spots in pursuit of eternal adolescence, and may act like teenagers, but they are never quite able to recapture the whole kit and caboodle as they can only go so far when it comes to hiding their actual ages. 

Americans spend a lot of money annually trying to deceive people out of guessing how old they are. Some celebrities, like Cher and Jane Fonda, have made an art form out of cosmetic surgery but wind up looking like marmoreal statues instead. In fact, they appear less real than their wax counterparts at Madame Tussands, which is unfortunate. I, for one, can pull off being twenty years younger than my actual number, much to the frustration of my musical partner, ML. She is five years my senior, but when we entertain as a duo in assisted living facilities (where people seem to be proud to reveal their advanced ages), the residents seem to think that I am her daughter, which is maddening to ML. To prevent her from doing injury to the innocent, I usually make light of the situation, point to ML and say to the conjecturer, "No, I'm actually her mother." In consequence, we all laugh and continue with the program. Yet still, ML winds up feeling insulted. And I can't blame her.

If you Ponce deLeons out there want to look and feel younger than you are, it isn't as difficult or expensive as you think. Sure, genetics, something you can't control, plays a prominent role in how you age; however, there are a few things you can do to keep people wondering just how old you are. For one, lose weight. Try to regain your youthful figure by eating healthy foods and working out. Yes, it is hard, but doable. Another would be to keep the grays away by covering them and then grow out your hair. From a distance, no one will think you are over thirty. Yet another is to shop for clothes at Forever 21. If you lose those pounds, you'll be surprised at how good you look in the latest fashions. Of course, stay away from too much sun. If you need to be out in it, wear sunscreen. Applying some moisturizer with retinol and collagen each night won't hurt either. Last but not least, concentrate on rejuvenating your ancient thoughts. Think young by embracing a sense of humor. You will wind up smiling a lot (Those vertical lines around your mouth will disappear.) and laughing heartily and frequently so that you don't resemble anything marmoreal. 

Realistically, all fountains that are constructed tend to be marmoreal, even the young ones, so it's best not to head in the direction of the Fountain of Youth. Concentrate on the inside of yourself, and the outside will take care of itself. After all, "you are as young as you feel." 

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