Circumambient Good Manners

 

circumambient - adjective - surrounding (Google)

Manners, a.k.a. decorum, is not a topic dangling from myriad lips these days. In fact, nowhere is it visible in the circumambient woke vocabulary. But should Emily Post's etiquette have gone the way of the Oldsmobile? Call us antiquated, but there are some of us around who still feel that politeness and decency and empathy are contentment's essential ingredients and should make up the circumambient climate.

No doubt, you are probably wondering what gave me the impetus to delve into this realm. Well, last night, two back-to-back, related occurrences breathed down my neck from the front, propelling me to choose this subject. Event 1: I picked up the most recent copy of TIME magazine, a periodical I read religiously, and randomly opened it to an article entitled,"The Rudeness Epidemic" by Belinda Luscombe. In case you missed it, the introduction reads: "The pandemic may have had a lethal effect on American manners. Lawyers are reporting ruder clients. Restaurants are reporting ruder clients. Flight attendants, for whom rude clients are no novelty, are reporting mayhem; passenger fines have exceeded $1 million this year. Re-entry into society is proving to be a little bumpy." I'd say so. But can we really blame the pandemic for our own inability to be compassionate and cooperative? Shouldn't we have learned to embrace these abstractions in kindergarten? I'll leave you to contemplate that. 

Event 2: If you read yesterday's entry, you already know that my daughter successfully ran the New York City Marathon on Sunday. A few days beforehand, a group of her friends drove into town from parts north and south to attend the race as loyal supporters, staying en masse for the entire weekend at one particular friend's home in the vicinity of the city. Last night, said hostess texted a lengthy tirade to my daughter, castigating the other mutual BFF's for their selfish demeanors as apparently, not one showed up at her home with a hostess gift (In fairness, they probably don't even know what that is.) or offered to pay for groceries, treat the hostess to a dinner out in exchange for her generosity, etc. Their clear attitude of  entitlement was abhorrent to her, a fellow Millennial whose parents or kindergarten teacher actually managed to instill in her something of genuine value: unmitigated manners. Most likely, she already knows not to wait in vain for anything resembling a thank-you note, but hopefully, she is hopeful that someone's gratitude in regard to the all-expenses-paid weekend on her tab might be reflected in an email, or at the least, a text message. 

What is on the sad side is that we as humans are indeed capable of much unselfishness, yet we don't tap into it. For example, during the marathon on Sunday, so many in the gallery shouted out their support and held out signs that read, "Believe!" We who stand in the gallery of everyday life must believe that we can do better when it comes down to treating each other well. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" should be everyone's mantra regardless of whether or not one is religious. Despite circumambient circumstances beyond our control, i.e. a pandemic, we can't lose something as valuable as propriety. As most kindergarten teachers already know, "Kindness is king." Let's spread it around like wild fire so that good manners are truly circumambient :). 

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