The Give and Take

 

bamboozle - verb (informal) - to fool or cheat. Origin: early 18th century, unknown source (Google)

Life as we know it is composed of dualities. One of them is the give and the take. If Karma is real (and it really is), then it would make sense that each of us give as much as we take albeit that is not always the case as we are always contending with the pitfalls of human nature. The truth is that we might not notice just how much we are contributing or depleting since we are just "too busy" with the daily grind or communication is lacking. 

Last Saturday night, my lover suspected that I might have attempted to bamboozle him out of an expensive gift-a night at an outrageously priced hotel-that I had offered to purchase for his birthday, but that he had jumped the gun and put on his credit card instead. At the time, I wanted to send him a check, but he told me that we would work things out later. We did but we didn't really because he couldn't tell me the exact amount that he wanted me to pay, so I paid him a set amount, which probably amounted to half. He accepted the money without complaint. Days later, because I did not pick up the entire amount, he felt cheated since apparently some relatives of his had done something similar, yet probably more substantive and intentional, and he never got over it. It is sad that people who supposedly love each other might attempt any sort of deception. But since the relations were not participating in the conversation, they were unable to provide their side of the story, which might have been somewhat different. In the end, to appease my own conscience since he had told me to forget about the balance owed, I made good and paid him, but I couldn't help but wonder why people assume the worst: there are more who bamboozle in order to take selfishly and fewer who give unselfishly.

As most don't pay attention to outmoded etiquette since they are again, "too busy" (preoccupied), bamboozling tends to happen commonly, intentionally or unintentionally, the taking as opposed to the giving. When was the last time someone told you she would like to have you to dinner as a thank-you for a favor yet never actually bothered to arrange the date? Although this is a small mishap and easily forgiven, it is hard to forget. It is important to reciprocate, even out the score. 

The moral of the above is that we should all make good on our words; stop making excuses as to why we can't own up to them. "Too busy" just doesn't cut it. Integrity is about doing what you say you'll do whilst always doing the right thing. No one is perfect, but we can realize our mistakes and atone for them. Communicating needs clearly wouldn't hurt either.

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