"All that Glitters Is Not Gold"

 

sudd - noun - an area of floating vegetation that impedes navigation in a stretch of the White Nile (Lexico.com)

The aphorism "All that glitters is not gold" can apply to humans as well as aspects of Mother Nature. I have to admit that I am a superficial person. More than once, I have fallen for the glitter sans the gold. Good looking bastards are my kryptonite. In short, they make me weak in the knees so that I can't keep my panties in place. Crude, but true. They impede my progress when it comes to finding the right Mr. Right who shimmers not just on the surface but within as well. I have learned more than once (but obviously have forgotten whenever a new flawless face walks in the door) that attractive surfaces can be deceptive and even harmful to one's wellbeing. 

Mother Nature has a tendency to play this game as well as she bestows us with something beautiful to look at and then has it bite us in the behind, so to speak. Sudd in the White Nile is an example. All floating vegetation is usually fairly easy on the eye. I mean, look at water lilies, lovely, innocuous but a potential hindrance to all floating vehicles, like sudd. I'm not talking tankers here, though, maybe just canoes or kayaks. 

For whatever reason, New Jersey tends to get smacked in the face with preternatural, natural dilemmas, like Hurricane Ida the other day or babesiosis, a parasite in deer ticks that causes a malaria-like disease in humans (my movie-star-pretty ex had it and it nearly killed him). The malady du jour is the spotted lantern fly, a good-looking, winged bug dressed in designer red and black polka dots, that can devour trees and shrubs whole. When its wings are splayed, this insect is really gorgeous, but totally lethal, like most of my handsome exes. Here in Jersey, we have been told not to spare the mini bastards; we must crush them on sight. The problem is that they are multiplying too quickly to exterminate in that primitive fashion, so most of us are once again going to have to spend the big bucks on professionals to do the trick, something I can't legally do to any prepossessing ex who has tried to strip me of my own greenery. 

What is the takeaway from this banter? 1. Don't fall for anything or anyone that is superficially sparkling. 2. Don't move to New Jersey. If you are already here, seriously consider moving elsewhere. I am, preferably to a place with mediocre-looking men who are genuinely nice. 

Hope you enjoy your Labor Day wherever you are!

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