Dualities

 

duality - noun - an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or aspects of something (Oxford Languages)

For over twenty years, I taught various classic literary works to a total of about 2,000 adolescent student listeners (well, maybe all 2K weren't always listening) in a handful of secondary schools. Most of our discussions hinged on thematic dualities present in poetry, short stories, plays, and novels. The most popular themes in all were good versus evil and love versus hate, relative terms. It makes sense as we know that art reflects life. Lately, both good versus evil and  love versus hate are relevant dualities, not that they have ever been out of fashion. 

Life is filled with opposition, dualities. Without which, there wouldn't be balance, but why is it that when people latch on to an ideology that they can wear comfortably almost like new prescription eyeglasses, they tend to become blind to the negatives. Oh, the irony of it all. In every saint, there is a sinner. And I don't have to name names here. In our impatient efforts to espouse the second coming, we who believe in God (and maybe some who don't) deify those who should not be deified. If all of the recorded saints were interviewed on podcasts today, I doubt any would admit to being 100% perfect. Why? They were human beings built on the concept of duality. Ergo, we as humans are all walking dualities, prone to making mistakes. 

Can we shift the balance of good versus evil, right versus wrong, good versus evil? Yes, we can, but it requires self-awareness and common sense, and neither is prolific in our world today. What I have been finding worthy of note–if not just hopeful– recently is the number of social media posts remembering Robert Redford. Which is a positive sign as he was not known to activate hate by being divisive in any sense of the word. His goal was to stand up for what is right and did so via an artistic medium that has the ability to reach millions all at once. Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't recall that he said anything off color about any marginalized groups. Which is why people are bothering to remember his life via extravagant tenderness. Such a beautiful concept! 

While we are in the neighborhood of that, my church book club members and I am reading The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness by Father Gregory Boyle who has been working for over thirty years with felon gang members here in Los Angeles via his organization Homeboy Industries. His words are rearranging my perspective on what it means not only to be an authentic Christian (who loves exclusively), but to be the best version of my human self. And don't we all strive to do that as well? Just be decent people? I will share a passage from the book that has stayed with me:

 "The goal of our extraordinarily humble God is less union with God, but union among us, (which is,          of course, unitive with God). Then we can rest in the stillness of love and go forward, to love in the          stillness of love and go forward, to love in the stillness of God. Then we are the river winding its                 way to the sea: the union with God and 'neighbor.' We are all just trying to get to the sea." (3)

In his own subtle way, "G," as he is affectionately called by his mentees, infers that we humans can consciously choose between love and hate, intentionally upsetting the balance in favor of love by eradicating division that plagues our society caused by two topics banned at the dinner table by most parents in the 1960s: religion and politics. This is easy to do. All it takes is losing the blinders, accepting truth, and embracing positive change...or maybe just keeping controversial opinions under wraps? 

I have many friends and family members who do not share the same religious or political beliefs as I do. As we can't seem to have peaceable discussions, we simply choose not to. Instead, we focus on that which we have in common (common ground). By doing so, the love between us remains a constant focus, towering above hate. Unity is always possible.

#blog, #blogger, #personal essay, #society, #advice, #love, #GregoryBoyle, #Christianity 

Human Gemstones

 

gemstones - noun - a precious or semi-precious stone, especially one cut, polished and used in a piece of jewelry.

In the past 24 hours, I have been reminded that although there are quite a few manufactured newcomers to celebrity who perhaps don't exactly qualify as feed for jewelry, there were and still are the polished few gemstones from the past that dare to shine on like "crazy diamonds." (Thank you, Pink Floyd.)

In the a.m. of September 16th, I awoke to my daughter's esoteric text that read, "Sorry for your loss." As I was completely unaware that I was missing anything or anyone, I followed through with "What loss?" Her response was "Just look on the internet. Mind you, it's a heavy loss." And she was right. Upon learning of the death of Hollywood's iconic matinee idol, indie film's grandfather, and Utah's environmental savior Robert Redford, my emotional blood pressure dropped to zero. Okay, I know. He was 89 and had lived a rich, successful life by anyone's standards, even Emerson's lofty ones, but a loss is still a loss no matter the age of the deceased. And what a loss.

Clearly, Redford was more than a movie star. To me, on the silver screen, he was male beauty and sartorial elegance personified, but he was also someone whose film characters got me through adolescence sans committing suicide, fratricide, or parricide. His movies allowed for escape from a tough reality happening via the 24-7 news cycle, or in the case of some of his more dramatic films (like Ordinary People or All the President's Men), he offered a connection to the difficult elements, which enlightened us teens in his heyday and led us to evaluate closely the world spinning around us.

On a more personal note, Redford's Sundance General Store, a modest gift shop nestled in a cabin on his ski resort of the same name, carried my naive art in the form of Torey the Turkey Goes Skiing, a thin, meagerly crafted children's picture book, when no one wanted to take a chance on it due to its rudimentary simplicity. I thank him for that albeit it is possible that he might not have had knowledge of the purchase. (I'm hoping that is not true.)

Another diamond albeit in the rough is the very much alive Neil Young. Last night, Bond and I said an unofficial goodbye to the summer by attending the classic musician's concert at the Hollywood Bowl, a venue the artist admitted that he had not played since 1966. Like so many of his musical contemporaries who thrived during the tumultuous 1960s, Neil's tunes are political, far left, but with an ironic bent, a sense of humor. Which so many in the political realm no longer possess. At 79, he may just have another ten years left in him, especially if he loses some weight. Yet his voice is as lucid and limber as when he performed at Woodstock with his band mates, Crosby, Stills, and Nash. The soprano notes of "Only Love Can Break Your Heart" in particular soared through the air like a dove carrying an olive branch. Neil's emotionally genuine performance of the song brought me to tears. Offhand, I can't think of one recording artist under the age of sixty who can do the same for me.

Like ageless gemstones, our pop culture icons from the past–whether dead or alive–linger on indefinitely through their artistic legacies. Although there has been much vitriol thrown at the internet lately, there is still much good, the aforementioned men's work preserved on YouTube, for example, an easy escape for a disillusioned society.  

#blog, #blogger, #society, #Robert Redford, #Neil Young, #personal essay 

Greed by Gender and Genes?

 

larceny - noun - unlawful taking and carrying away of of personal property with the intent to deprive the rightful owner of it permanently (Merriam-Webster)

On the list of the Seven Deadly Sins, greed comes in second only after pride, which is said to beget greed as well as the other five that follow. But is greed a learned behavior (environmental in origin) or is it ingrained (a product of genetics)? Based on my own observations (years of teaching multiple grade levels), I believe that the greedy (more males than females) are born with the propensity to desire more than their share and will go an unlawful distance (commit larceny) in order to obtain it.

Case in point: Yesterday, I had the privilege to be one of over a hundred children's book authors (mainly self-published) at the third annual LA Kids Book Festival in West Hollywood. Due to the stiff competition, to attract interest in the wares I was selling, I decided to offer Halloween candy in advance of the holiday to those children who participated in my contest involving guessing the number of Tootsie Rolls in a large canister. In other words, in order to receive the trophy (a piece of candy), they had to do something to earn it (a new concept, I know). Naturally because of sloth (number seven on the list of sins), most of the kids just wanted to dig their fingers into the basket and take as much as possible without so much as nominal conjecture. The younger the child, the more he felt he deserved. I say "he" because most of the culprits were boys. Hmm. Toward the end of the day, a male youngster of ten who looked very familiar approached me with the correct number of treats in the can. After he had left with a free book, I remembered that he was present at the time that one of the dads guessed correctly and won, meaning he "stole" the correct answer to win. Clearly greed and deception are related. 

And then I found myself asking this question: Are boys just more prone to beg, borrow, or steal than girls? Let's go with "steal." According to the U.S. Sentencing Commission, 94% of individuals sentenced for robbery recently were men, and the average age was 33. I do think that environmental factors contribute to the high figure, but I also think testosterone and genetics play a role. For instance, a close male friend of mine just happens to be the descendant of British pirates. Recently, he admitted to me that when he was in his twenties, he would "borrow cars," meaning he would break into them, start them up, drive them around town, and then leave them unharmed a few miles from where he had entered them. Although he was never arrested and charged with theft, he definitely entered someone else's property illegally (sans permission). This action he claimed fell into a "gray area." I disagreed. He had the earmarkings of a car jacker despite the fact that he didn't wind up selling the cars for parts. A rose by any other name is still a rose; albeit not quite full throttle, he is as much of a pirate as his ancestors. And get this. His biological brothers were cat burglars who also were never apprehended. I rest my case. Toss the coin. Heads, environment. Tails, genes. Genes it is. 

It comes down to this. Parents beware. Teach your children well, particularly if you have boys. Human nature tends to creep up on them more vehemently than it does on girls. Although some feel that girls are harder to raise than boys, in this case, I'd argue that the opposite is true. 

Just sayin'.

Remembering 9/11 with peace, hope, and love for all of those who sustained losses.

#blog, #blogger, #greed, #human nature, #genetics, #social commentary, #personal essay 

Ubiquitous Grunge

 

ubiquitous - adjective - ever present

grunge - noun - a style of rock music featuring raucous guitar and lazy vocal delivery. In fashion, it features loose clothing and ripped jeans. 

Sometimes I think I'm Oscar Wilde regenerated as I ascribe to his philosophy of Aestheticism: One should reflect art. Beauty should exist for the sake of beauty. Gosh, I'm dating myself by over a hundred years. If the actual Oscar were to come back to life for one day and attend a Broadway show where it is not unusual to see young audience members in shorts and flip flops, he would be astonished. 

The ubiquitous grunge that dominated fashion in the 1990s is still ubiquitous. It is said that Stella McCartney, Marc Jacobs, and Alexander McQueen introduced grunge into the realm in the 1990s, and suddenly, "ugly" (baggy pants, dirty T's, ripped jeans and plaid flannel) became trendy. Groundbreaking (?). Yes, some thirty years ago, grunge entered stage left. And suddenly, anything remotely attractive, melodic, inspiring artistically exited stage right. 

Grunge was and is all about tasteless dressing down. Tasteful dressing up takes effort. Growing up, Gen X and Millennials received trophies for zero effort. Why wouldn't their clothes reflect their lackadaisical state of mind? Much to my dismay, because Gen X is now just the right age to stand on center stage and command the spotlight, the comfort and ease of ugliness and/or mediocrity will stick around for awhile. Millennials don't seem to have a problem with it,  probably because they were old enough to participate in the movement to an extent. (Remember Gothic? I do.) 

Personally, I am hoping the kids of Gen Alpha will push out ubiquitous grunge in their own journey to the center if only as a form of rebellion. Sadly, I may be dead by the time genuine beauty and stunning, artistic excellence make a comeback, and I pray that AI has nothing to do with it. Perhaps in thirty years, a futuristic version of Jessica Daves will stumble upon an antique suitcase in the last remaining Victorian home and open it to uncover a copy of Vogue from the 1950s. She'll want to share it with fashion designers and poof! The effort of elegance will be in style again.

As for music, I am still seeing young folks playing in jazz bands and genuinely enjoying the melodies known to occupy the American Songbook. A short while ago, I actually met a twenty-three-year-old male who told me just how much he loves Sinatra. So there is hope that quality will make a comeback. 

Okay. I'm allowed to dream. Aren't I? 

"Never, never, never give up." 

Thanks, Winston. 

#social commentary, #blog, #blogger, #personal essay, #writer , #grunge, #art, #fashion 

Sensationalism vs. Truth

 

sensationalism - noun - (in journalism) use of exciting or shocking stories or language at the expense of accuracy in order to provoke public interest (Google). 

Throughout history, journalistic sensationalism has played a huge, egregious role, and it is still omnipresent today. I don't know about you, but I have pretty much given up hope in ever coming face to face with one-hundred-percent accurate reportage from any one media source. Much of what you see and read on social media is completely erroneous. What can be considered "news" that I pay attention to I either witness myself or hear secondhand from valued friends who would never fall into a pot hole as deep as sensationalism. 

Case in point, this past Monday night, an award-winning storyteller, one of my closest SoCal pals,  someone with whom I attended undergraduate school, held about fifty barflies rapt with her personal account of the L.A. ICE protests back in June. She was one of about 10K peaceful protestors towards the front of the procession downtown. According to her eye-witness account, the news media ignored her and her benign colleagues in activism in favor of filming some one hundred whose anger and frustration caused them to torch a few Waymo electric cars on the side of the freeway. The media took an isolated incident and exploded it so that Americans throughout the country walked away from their screens with an inaccurate, negative impression of what was in actuality nothing like what was recorded on video. 

Three days after hearing my friend's story, I volunteered to serve food to homeless people in a Venice restaurant. I had not been called into Bread and Roses for at least a month as my services were not needed. What I witnessed yesterday with my own eyes amounted to a truth that reporters were not privy to. No matter what laws are bandied about in D.C., the homeless problem is not going away. From my perspective, it is getting worse. I served about 150 individuals, mainly young, white men, within three hours. Seriously, I didn't think they would stop coming. We were that busy. Ease-dropping on one conversation, I learned that although at least one of the many was actively looking for a job, he was not finding any. Hence, based on my own observations, I can infer that if you are reading that the economy is improving, just know that it isn't here in Los Angeles. 

The aforementioned examples are true. You won't find this kind of verity online or on TV. Whatever you experience yourself, you can believe. Don't be fooled by agencies who are just trying to make money by infiltrating reality with fantasy. 

Just sayin'. 

#social commentary, #blog, #blogger, #writing community, #truth, #sensationalism 

Dog vs. Cat People

 

preference - noun - a greater liking for one alternative over another or others (Google)

When it comes to domestic creatures, do you have a preference for either dogs or cats? Personally, I can't say that I do as I have spent quite a few years (at least fifty) alternating between the two. But I have known many over-the-top pet enthusiasts who have taken sides, and like some political activists, are strongly pro dogs or pro cats and stand by their choice. Just what kind of people are these who cannot be without either dogs or cats? 

Let's look at the multitudes who prefer dogs over cats first. I live in Los Angeles where just about everyone you meet on the street is being followed by a breed of hound on either a short or long leash. Some of the small pups are even securely sequestered in baby carriages. Most of these dog enthusiasts are Millennials who look like they are on the fence about having human children, so they have chosen to be "dog parents" as they think it is easier. Being that I have been both, I can honestly say that having a puppy is just as hard as having an infant. The difference is that the puppy grows into a full-size dog that never matures beyond the equivalent of a four-year-old child. Dogs are needy, and dog people like to be needed. Dog people know that dogs, once trained, can truly be the best of companions. As dogs are pack animals– highly social creatures and very loyal–they place their loving "parents" first in their lives. They can truly make them feel loved due to their uncanny ability to sense human emotions and react to them. Whether positive or negative, extremely fanatical dog people actually view their dogs as family members, and as a result, will take their dogs everywhere, even to locations where dogs shouldn't be, such as restaurants and grocery stores. These people will go to extremes. For example, I have seen a dog child accompanying his human parents as they were playing golf on a well-groomed course. Just today, I spied an adult Australian Collie squeezed into a backpack while her owner zigzagged through traffic on his bike. (Both activities are dangerous for a dog.) And it is true that dog people look remarkably similar to their dogs. So who knows? Maybe the dog parents are actually the parents of the dogs? It wouldn't surprise me.

Cat people, on the other hand, tend to appreciate felines because they are far less dependent than dogs. All of the cats I have ever owned could pretty much care less about me. Indolent by nature, cats just don't want to work too hard hunting for food (they can survive on their own in the wild), so they have domesticated humans to get out of any real effort. Which means they will be as affectionate as possible to get what they want: unlimited quantities of Fancy Feast and carte blanche to rip up everything destructible inside a house with impunity. Blindly devoted, cat folks refuse to believe that their fur-ball babies could ever be this manipulative and self-centered and devious. Male owners of cats tend to be a bit unusual (euphemism). The ones I've known are usually single and riddled with idiosyncrasies (understatement). One of my exes actually believed his one cat was his brother and the other, his "little girl," meaning daughter. He loved both way more than he loved me. Obviously if they date at all, these men only bother with women who adore cats. Generally, "Must love cats" comes up first on their online dating profiles. Alternatively, cat women can either be more normal or just as abnormal. Most all-in cat persons reflect their felines as they can often be independent and/or misanthropic, preferring even tepid kitties in captivity to emotionally available humans in the wild. 

Wouldn't it be nice if all people treated each other the way that some dog and cat parents treat their "children"? I think so. When I observe some of these obsessive humans, I can't help but want to come back as either one of their dogs or cats in the next life. 

Just sayin'. 

#blog, #blogger, #personalessay, #writer, #author, #dogs, #cats, #socialsatire 

The Talk About Retirement

 

retirement - noun - the action or fact of leaving one's job and ceasing to work.

For whatever reason, the subject of retirement seems to be dominating cyberspace this week. The popular site Quora that stimulates online conversations among individuals–who find time to respond to responses generated on myriad topical topics–has been featuring it. As I have been an active participant of retirement for the past six years (although I have taken a few odd, paying jobs on the side just for enjoyment), I have been entertained by what others have been admitting that they do to fill in the blanks of their remaining days on the planet. 

Not surprisingly since my generation has ceased to grow up and out of its designation as the Me Generation, for the most part, the retirees lead self-centered lives. I was amazed by some who confessed that they follow the same banal routine every day. One gentleman mentioned that he wakes up each day at the same hour, has breakfast, walks the dog and then feeds it, watches MSNBC for a few hours, has lunch, takes a nap, returns to the dog and its care, does a crossword puzzle, has dinner, and then turns on the television as an encore, allowing it to lull him to sleep. (Maybe on the weekends he does a bit of cleaning and laundry?) Hmm. It is hard for me to believe that anyone would be even remotely satisfied with his mundane itinerary, but apparently, many are. 

And then there are the gamers. I am not talking about Gen X, Y, or Z video gamers; I am referring to the 65 and over board or card gamers (and maybe even the golf-tennis-pickleball crowd). Most of these folks are game to keep their minds (and perhaps, bodies) active so that Alzheimer's doesn't creep up on them. I get it. It is probably knocking on my door right now since I just found it hard to recall the name of the condition. Anyway, this agile crew–mainly women–go for Canasta, Bridge, Mahjong, Scrabble, Pinochle, Bingo, and Yahtzee, meeting day and night to follow often complicated sets of rules, competing for first place while chatting about pedestrian topics. With great dexterity, they manage to balance their gaming with babysitting the grandchildren, also a popular pastime in retirement. Women, I've read, are also more apt to globe trot. Some singles and couples have even set up permanent residence on cruise ships. 

What I have found to be quite disconcerting is that not one to respond to the topic on Quora (that I saw) has mentioned volunteerism. If you have been following my blogs, you know that I spend at least an hour a day during the week working in support of multiple good causes. For those who are not content with the aforementioned, I highly recommend my course of action. It doesn't matter where you live, you can always find some organization in need of unpaid employees, retired people who still want to change the world in some pragmatic way. Selflessness is its own reward. 

The people of my age or older who really impress me are those who don't even wish to touch retirement. They want to work at something that they love until they drop because they don't feel that what they do is actually arduous. You know whom I mean. The Bruce Springsteens and Mick Jaggers and Paul McCartneys and Ringo Starrs of the world. Okay, all of these men are musicians so that some can argue that they have never worked a day in their lives anyway. I agree. But with the right attitude, you can find a passion that pays and keeps your life humming with purpose just like they did decades ago. It is entirely possible. 

Just sayin'. 

#retirement, #society, #blog, #blogger, #personal essay, #writing community, #writer, #author