How to Quell Fear

 

quell - verb - to suppress (esp. an unpleasant feeling) Google.com

Whenever something unexpected happens, human nature presses us to dive head first into a pool of fear. Unfortunately, it is an impulse that is generally acted upon sans any sort of prior contemplation. The way the majority handles fear is either to stand and fight it or flee from it. But then there is the minority that refuses even to wade in the aforementioned cement pond for fear of getting mired in it. I can't help but reflect on F.D.R.'s huge capacity for common sense when he shouted into the microphone at his first inauguration in 1933: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." His ingenious quote has unlimited shelf life, especially when it comes to politics. 

Without stating the obvious re: politics, I will say that here in L.A. county, quite a few people are  drowning in so much fear as a result of the elections that they are relying on therapists and clergy members to offer them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation: advice as to how to quell it. Since I am close to both a top psychologist and an effective Presbyterian minister, I will share their solid suggestions with those of you who are still barely afloat, paddling around on a punctured floatation device in the deep end:

1. Upon waking each morning, take a series of deep breaths and then embrace the impetus to get out of bed.

2. Ignore the constant stream of notifications from The New York Times or similar publications on your smart phone.

3. Don't watch the news until you are doing #1 regularly.

4. Work out by running, walking, lifting weights, etc.

5. Search for a local Buddhist temple and take the monks up on their offer to guide you through a free mediation session.

6. Indulge in yoga or take a sound bath.

7. Concentrate on staying in the moment. Forget about all of the what-if's. Find a safe place and stay in it. 

8. Call a friend whom you haven't spoken to in a while and talk about everything except politics.

9. Let go and let God because you should already know that historically speaking, Goodness tends to prevail in the end.

10. Do all of the above. 

What you should not do is head to the liquor cabinet or your stash of Mary Jane for solace as they will only complicate matters or just kill you eventually. Temporary gratification is just that: temporary. 

Times are tough, but we have all experienced challenges before. No matter what, we will get through whatever might happen. 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #good advice, #fear, #gwynenglishnielsen

Odious Rejection and How to Cope with It

 

odious - adjective - extremely unpleasant (Google)

Depending upon your point of view, there are few things more odious than rejection. Why? It takes a nasty bite out of the ego, leaving you with a sour residue in your mouth. And that's only if you are strong and somewhat used to repeated spurns. What if you're not? Well then, the metaphor gets more injurious. If you are a neophyte, then repudiation is more like a swift kick in the groin. If you are the sensitive type, it may be so debilitating that you may stay prostrate on the floor for a long time, forgetting all about the purpose of the initial quest. When you finally recover, rise, and totter away, the dream that motivated you in the first place could just be left behind.

Rejection for me is very commonplace as I pretty much experience it everyday. Okay, okay. It is my fault because I put myself up for the daily whipping. I am not only a singer/songwriter, trying to get my music heard, a nearly impossible feat as there are millions of other singer/songwriters trying to do the same thing, but I am also a writer who has just finished a novel. Which is getting lost in myriad databases of literary agents all over the country, again due to furious competition. According to Google, I have a one in one thousandth chance of finding an agent to represent my writing, meaning I may have to query about a thousand agents before one even bats an eyelash of interest. Yikes! I'm only at 43. 

I am up for the challenge, though. Why not? I believe that Ray Bradbury, the sci-fi author responsible for the classic Fahrenheit 450, was rejected about eight hundred times before some really smart publisher saw his worth and took a risk on him. I could use Ray as inspiration, and I will. 

Putting myself aside, though, my heart goes out to those of you (like my daughter) who are pounding the cyber pavements daily in search of a job that pays a living wage. The employment rate may be up, but positions that pay100K or more are few and far between. For most of the MBA recipients out there right now, there isn't much. My daughter was one of 600 applicants for an opening at Hulu. After a month of chatting, going back and forth with various corporate heads, she wound up in the number one spot just before they told her they had changed their minds and couldn't use her. An odious rejection? You betcha. But as Nietzsche once penned, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" or something like that. 

And then there are Kamala Harris, Tim Walz and the rest of the Democratic party. Nope. I'm not going there. Sorry. But no doubt, they are all feeling the pugilistic pangs of rejection as well. 

So just how do you cope with painful snubs? There's always hope, hope in the reality that everything will turn around, which is not blind optimism; it's common sense. Life is a balance, a series of dualities. What goes up must come down. What is at its nadir eventually rises. A slow market sooner or later speeds up. If you never, never, never give up, you will most likely get what you have always wanted. It just takes a lot of effort, time, and patience. Hard? Yes. But nothing is easy. 

To borrow Nike's slogan, "Just do it." Good luck and Godspeed. 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #good advice, #gwynenglishnielsen

The Magnitude of the Small

 

magnitude - noun - great size or extent of something.

Recently, I met a journalist who is responsible for coming up with 250 words daily on a subject related to the media. He writes for an online magazine that caters to content-thirsty industry professionals looking to quench the sensation in the time it takes to empty a grande mocha cappuccino. Although it may sound easy, it isn't. To write concisely, densely on anything is difficult. What is even tougher is selecting just the right topic, researching it, writing the sentences, proofreading them, and then posting the finished paragraph before the average, weary industry professional saunters into his or her favorite Starbucks to order that grande mocha cappuccino. 

I have a similar problem. Despite only contributing to this blog bi-monthly, after 373 articles, it isn't uncommon for me to be at a loss for subject matter. Sometimes it takes me a few days–as opposed to hours–to experience the eureka-I've-got-it moment. Since I don't compose this blog for a living (I can't figure out how to monetize it), I am under no obligation to meet any deadlines. Still, I strive to please those of you who actually read what I write. (Thanks, by the way!)

For today's installment of Word to Words, I chose the concept "The Magnitude of the Small," which as you might have noticed is a contradiction. How can something insignificant be great? Easy. To understand my original (?) paradox, you simply have to take notice. I mean, really look around you. 

For instance, this evening while returning home from a day spent ferrying a friend to and from a medical center for a colonoscopy (yikes! I am really dating myself here), I decided to take the scenic route. Which, for some, could just be the long way, perhaps through an unfamiliar neighborhood, featuring houses festooned with holiday decorations. 'Tis the season. Yet for me, one of the lucky Americans to live near the Hollywood Riviera (South Bay, L.A.), the scenic route is breathtakingly gorgeous, so glorious in its beauty that I was reduced to driving 25 mph just to look at it when everyone, who wasn't concerned with the magnitude of the small, was accelerating to 45, saluting with a raised middle finger as he or she passed me. Yet each incensed driver missed the sunset. If he/she did catch it, it was in his/her eyes, causing his/her to squint uncomfortably or reposition his/her eyes just beneath the dropped sun visor just to see the road. The magnitude of the sun might have been a small annoyance to those who became jaded, who got "used to" the allure that disintegrated into commonplace somewhere in the repetitiveness of daily commutation. 

But don't you do it. Don't let the magnificent become banal. Make a concerted effort to keep it fresh by stopping to notice, to realize, to appreciate Nature's marvels no matter how minute they may be. If you do, you may feel a lot better about everything that isn't quite right these days. If you do, maybe you may arrive at your destination with hope: abstract, compact, yet so very vast. 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #good advice, #gwynenglishnielsen