Chick-A-Chick-A Boom! The Residual Effects of War

 

residual - adjective - remaining after the greater part or quantity has gone (Google).

There can be no debate. Nothing good comes from full-scale destruction. Obviously, the weightier the war, the more consequential the effects on the people who experienced the fray head-on in the trenches. Yet the deleterious outcome or outcomes are not limited to the participants. Successive generations can feel the sting of violent opposition. Hatred can obliterate the capacity to love over decades. 

Case in point: take the damaged men of my generation, most aptly named the Baby Boomers. The moniker is not meant to stand as onomatopoeia attached to the soundtrack of battle as in "Boom went the bombs" (but if the shoe fits...). No doubt, boom could be a play on the word boon (windfall) or the slang term booming (as in increasing), representing the surge in population after World War II. Let's face it, after being deprived of physical love for such a long time, the soldiers wanted to make up for lost time,"boom-boom"legitimately with their significant others, and they did. The results of which produced about 2.5 babies per household, many more if the vet dads ascribed to a specific religion. Yet the shoe does fit in the literal sense. Many Boomers are suffering from the after effects of the bombs that fell around their desperately ducking dads on the battlegrounds. They are damaged goods and got that way due to the residual effects of the war. Sorry, men of my generation. You are inextricably blemished, and I have the common sense to prove it.

World War II left its participants torn, bleeding, not merely physically (in some cases), but psychologically. Most who had survived combat walked away with PTSD. There was no way around it. However, these men were expected to "get over" their feelings perceived as "weak." Of course, they couldn't do it themselves; consequently, having no choice, they went on with their daily lives, thankful to be alive. These psychologically impaired men continued on to become the flawed fathers of Boomers, who couldn't authentically be available for their children. The halved vets were incapable of being whole, and their sons, who really needed them as role models (Moms couldn't do everything but often did), found them to be feckless examples as absentee parents. 

The most tragic residual effect of World War II? Male Boomers' inability to love. Okay, fine. I'm not saying all of them are cursed in this sense, but many of them are. (Most of the single ones are. Believe me.) Just listen to the complaints of us female Boomers, who often are creased as well but who have ironed out better and can function well emotionally because we are wired that way. There are men of my generation who hold topnotch degrees and successful positions in their places of employment, but these same people can't seem to love in the true sense albeit they think they can. Ironically, they can commit to academia and the demands of their vocations, and perhaps even their offspring, but they are clueless when it comes to intimacy in the form of romantic love, hence the growing rate of divorce and mass loneliness. As for the predecessors of the Boomers, are they better off? I think not. Many of them can't commit to anything at all, no less love.

Maybe the defect I'm underscoring has nothing to do with war at all? Maybe it is just part and parcel of human nature? I can't give you a definitive answer because my thesis is based on opinion and personal experience. But this I do know to be factual. Nothing good comes from war. So if you feel the solution to the miscellaneous confrontations making front-page news today is bombing the antagonists all to oblivion, think again. A solution can never fall under the nomenclature of HATE and pan out well. I think Martin Luther King, Jr. whose birthday we recently celebrated, said it best: "Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." 

So man up, Boomer men, and learn how to love your women well. Gender and generational differences aside, we all need to stop blaming our parents for whatever they might have or might not have done and commit to full-scale love.

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Wealthy, Fortunate, Blessed

 

wealthy - adjective - having a great deal of money, resources, assets; rich.

fortunate - adjective - favored by or involving good luck, fortunate; lucky.

blessed - adjective - feeling lucky to have health, fame, fortune, talent. 

-Google 

Happy New Year to my few, but quality readers!

Stepping into a new year often includes taking along with you a few adjectives pertaining to how you feel about who you are. Hopefully, the descriptors are positive as opposed to negative. You always want to begin on the right foot. Right?

As some of you know, I have a friend–a psychotherapist, in L.A.–where I am planning to move this spring. Because he cares (I hope so, anyway), he is constantly preparing me for the environmental changes indicative of Los Angeles that I might not be aware of, most of which I am. Sometimes I think that he thinks I live in the state of Naivety rather than New Jersey, too close to the pavements of New York City to be as green as grass, but he means well. He commented that as wealthy as I might consider myself on the East Coast, my monetary status pales in comparison to the riches pretentiously displayed in L.A. I retorted that many of those Lost Angels may have a lot in terms of money, resources, assets, what have you, but little in the way of actual wealth, wealth of character, spirit–the kind that can't be minted or grown on trees. He agreed. I told him that I am in a different category in that I'm under the Fortunate-To-Be-Blessed nomenclature. My angels are not lost as they always seem to be working overtime to keep my head above water unlike many other heads today who are genuinely struggling to keep from drowning.

The conversation progressed into a discussion of socialism versus capitalism, uneven, controversial ground. What we both agreed upon is the idea that the billionaires need to remove their heads from the sawdust long enough to see that our country is becoming a land of severe monetary contrasts: the have's and have-not's are in juxtaposition to each other, and it is wrong. Rather than writing checks, these wealthy types (who tend to be miserable in their selfishness) need to spend some time on the other side of the tracks. Only after they acknowledge the disparities can they make any differences so that no one needs to suffer unnecessarily. The churches and civic organizations, funded by the wealthy, are doing what they can do, but everyone must get involved.

Okay, I'm getting a bit preachy here. I know. But I think we can all embrace a mutual New Year's resolution to spend a little more time doing our share for others. If nothing else, the effect of the cause may be feeling blessed, which is a prime adjective to describe you. One that you can be proud of.

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #good advice, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth