How to Quell Fear

 

quell - verb - to suppress (esp. an unpleasant feeling) Google.com

Whenever something unexpected happens, human nature presses us to dive head first into a pool of fear. Unfortunately, it is an impulse that is generally acted upon sans any sort of prior contemplation. The way the majority handles fear is either to stand and fight it or flee from it. But then there is the minority that refuses even to wade in the aforementioned cement pond for fear of getting mired in it. I can't help but reflect on F.D.R.'s huge capacity for common sense when he shouted into the microphone at his first inauguration in 1933: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." His ingenious quote has unlimited shelf life, especially when it comes to politics. 

Without stating the obvious re: politics, I will say that here in L.A. county, quite a few people are  drowning in so much fear as a result of the elections that they are relying on therapists and clergy members to offer them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation: advice as to how to quell it. Since I am close to both a top psychologist and an effective Presbyterian minister, I will share their solid suggestions with those of you who are still barely afloat, paddling around on a punctured floatation device in the deep end:

1. Upon waking each morning, take a series of deep breaths and then embrace the impetus to get out of bed.

2. Ignore the constant stream of notifications from The New York Times or similar publications on your smart phone.

3. Don't watch the news until you are doing #1 regularly.

4. Work out by running, walking, lifting weights, etc.

5. Search for a local Buddhist temple and take the monks up on their offer to guide you through a free mediation session.

6. Indulge in yoga or take a sound bath.

7. Concentrate on staying in the moment. Forget about all of the what-if's. Find a safe place and stay in it. 

8. Call a friend whom you haven't spoken to in a while and talk about everything except politics.

9. Let go and let God because you should already know that historically speaking, Goodness tends to prevail in the end.

10. Do all of the above. 

What you should not do is head to the liquor cabinet or your stash of Mary Jane for solace as they will only complicate matters or just kill you eventually. Temporary gratification is just that: temporary. 

Times are tough, but we have all experienced challenges before. No matter what, we will get through whatever might happen. 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #good advice, #fear, #gwynenglishnielsen

Odious Rejection and How to Cope with It

 

odious - adjective - extremely unpleasant (Google)

Depending upon your point of view, there are few things more odious than rejection. Why? It takes a nasty bite out of the ego, leaving you with a sour residue in your mouth. And that's only if you are strong and somewhat used to repeated spurns. What if you're not? Well then, the metaphor gets more injurious. If you are a neophyte, then repudiation is more like a swift kick in the groin. If you are the sensitive type, it may be so debilitating that you may stay prostrate on the floor for a long time, forgetting all about the purpose of the initial quest. When you finally recover, rise, and totter away, the dream that motivated you in the first place could just be left behind.

Rejection for me is very commonplace as I pretty much experience it everyday. Okay, okay. It is my fault because I put myself up for the daily whipping. I am not only a singer/songwriter, trying to get my music heard, a nearly impossible feat as there are millions of other singer/songwriters trying to do the same thing, but I am also a writer who has just finished a novel. Which is getting lost in myriad databases of literary agents all over the country, again due to furious competition. According to Google, I have a one in one thousandth chance of finding an agent to represent my writing, meaning I may have to query about a thousand agents before one even bats an eyelash of interest. Yikes! I'm only at 43. 

I am up for the challenge, though. Why not? I believe that Ray Bradbury, the sci-fi author responsible for the classic Fahrenheit 450, was rejected about eight hundred times before some really smart publisher saw his worth and took a risk on him. I could use Ray as inspiration, and I will. 

Putting myself aside, though, my heart goes out to those of you (like my daughter) who are pounding the cyber pavements daily in search of a job that pays a living wage. The employment rate may be up, but positions that pay100K or more are few and far between. For most of the MBA recipients out there right now, there isn't much. My daughter was one of 600 applicants for an opening at Hulu. After a month of chatting, going back and forth with various corporate heads, she wound up in the number one spot just before they told her they had changed their minds and couldn't use her. An odious rejection? You betcha. But as Nietzsche once penned, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" or something like that. 

And then there are Kamala Harris, Tim Walz and the rest of the Democratic party. Nope. I'm not going there. Sorry. But no doubt, they are all feeling the pugilistic pangs of rejection as well. 

So just how do you cope with painful snubs? There's always hope, hope in the reality that everything will turn around, which is not blind optimism; it's common sense. Life is a balance, a series of dualities. What goes up must come down. What is at its nadir eventually rises. A slow market sooner or later speeds up. If you never, never, never give up, you will most likely get what you have always wanted. It just takes a lot of effort, time, and patience. Hard? Yes. But nothing is easy. 

To borrow Nike's slogan, "Just do it." Good luck and Godspeed. 

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The Magnitude of the Small

 

magnitude - noun - great size or extent of something.

Recently, I met a journalist who is responsible for coming up with 250 words daily on a subject related to the media. He writes for an online magazine that caters to content-thirsty industry professionals looking to quench the sensation in the time it takes to empty a grande mocha cappuccino. Although it may sound easy, it isn't. To write concisely, densely on anything is difficult. What is even tougher is selecting just the right topic, researching it, writing the sentences, proofreading them, and then posting the finished paragraph before the average, weary industry professional saunters into his or her favorite Starbucks to order that grande mocha cappuccino. 

I have a similar problem. Despite only contributing to this blog bi-monthly, after 373 articles, it isn't uncommon for me to be at a loss for subject matter. Sometimes it takes me a few days–as opposed to hours–to experience the eureka-I've-got-it moment. Since I don't compose this blog for a living (I can't figure out how to monetize it), I am under no obligation to meet any deadlines. Still, I strive to please those of you who actually read what I write. (Thanks, by the way!)

For today's installment of Word to Words, I chose the concept "The Magnitude of the Small," which as you might have noticed is a contradiction. How can something insignificant be great? Easy. To understand my original (?) paradox, you simply have to take notice. I mean, really look around you. 

For instance, this evening while returning home from a day spent ferrying a friend to and from a medical center for a colonoscopy (yikes! I am really dating myself here), I decided to take the scenic route. Which, for some, could just be the long way, perhaps through an unfamiliar neighborhood, featuring houses festooned with holiday decorations. 'Tis the season. Yet for me, one of the lucky Americans to live near the Hollywood Riviera (South Bay, L.A.), the scenic route is breathtakingly gorgeous, so glorious in its beauty that I was reduced to driving 25 mph just to look at it when everyone, who wasn't concerned with the magnitude of the small, was accelerating to 45, saluting with a raised middle finger as he or she passed me. Yet each incensed driver missed the sunset. If he/she did catch it, it was in his/her eyes, causing his/her to squint uncomfortably or reposition his/her eyes just beneath the dropped sun visor just to see the road. The magnitude of the sun might have been a small annoyance to those who became jaded, who got "used to" the allure that disintegrated into commonplace somewhere in the repetitiveness of daily commutation. 

But don't you do it. Don't let the magnificent become banal. Make a concerted effort to keep it fresh by stopping to notice, to realize, to appreciate Nature's marvels no matter how minute they may be. If you do, you may feel a lot better about everything that isn't quite right these days. If you do, maybe you may arrive at your destination with hope: abstract, compact, yet so very vast. 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #good advice, #gwynenglishnielsen

America's Pastime

 

pastime - noun - an activity that someone does regularly for enjoyment.

Traditionally, the end of October marks the official last stand of the boys of summer as it is when the World Series happens. This year, there is a bit of a "subway series" taking place as the Los Angeles Dodgers were once ensconced in Brooklyn, New York, and the Yankees' home base is still in the Bronx. Although tickets to the games are extraordinarily high, fans are still flocking to the ballparks to see their heroes hit and field baseballs. But based on the above definition, courtesy of Google, can we say that baseball is still America's pastime? 

No, golf is. 

Yes, it is undeniably golf. Other than the pros and Little Leaguers, who plays baseball? I'm telling you. The pastime is definitely golf. Okay, okay. Maybe the televised PGA tournaments don't win any ratings' wars, but middle and upper-middle-class people of all ages are migrating to the public courses, taking golf lessons that run about $150 an hour for a private lesson, buying expensive clubs (some at $2,000 a driver), and flocking to try them out just about anywhere green, even in desert locals, like the irrigated Las Vegas. I know all of this since I follow the crowd. In fact, just last Monday around 3 p.m., I took a drive over to Alondra Golf Course, which is in the neighborhood of Torrance, California and found myself waiting in line (yes, in a long line) just to drive a few balls on the range. I have never before encountered such enthusiasm for a sport that is not only expensive, but terribly difficult and often exasperating. 

The pastime of golf is practiced regularly, yes. We who play find ourselves competing in leagues, playing regularly in quartets, in trios, or in duos on courses that are challenging and even dangerous – yes, dangerous because a little hard ball soaring at 120 m.p.h. can go in any direction, right at other players sometimes. And a "Fore!" cried out quickly won't stop the ball mid flight. My father had to get four stitches in the back of his head once because he was in the wrong place at the right time on a course. He was lucky the errant number 3 Titlelist didn't kill him. 

That's the thing, though. It is rare for the weekend warrior to be consistent at the game. No amount of lessons can cure this ill either. Look at the pro golfers, for instance, Phil Mickelson. Once during the PGA held at Baltusrol in 2005, I saw his ball strike the side of the pro shop and land just beneath it. Steady, yet unpredictable Phil had to hit the ball off of the macadam cart path alongside the eighteenth hole. Of course, he got it in the hole and won the tournament. Clearly, he didn't earn the moniker "Phil the Thrill" for nothing.

Is golf enjoyable? Hmmm. I would say it is if you are having a good game. It isn't if you aren't. And you are lucky if you do have a majority of minuses as opposed to pluses on your score card by the end of eighteen holes because in golf, it is all about the lowest score, getting the ball into the hole via the fewest strokes, which is almost impossible if you play by the rules. And very few do.

What does all of this say about those of us who run the risk of being totally frustrated more often than not on the course? It says that we are risk takers, that we are brave enough to accept failure, and willing to allow tenacity to be a best friend. Golf, like baseball, can be a metaphor for life. If you play the game well, you reap rewards. If you don't or if you cheat, you stand to be discontented. 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #good advice, #gwynenglishnielsen

Take A Hike

 

ambulatory - adj. - able to walk about

Years ago, when we wanted to rid ourselves of someone's presence, we used the creatively idiomatic, "Take a hike!" as opposed to the current pithy, degenerate, "Fuck off!" which has fallen into overuse, losing its profane punch. But this article isn't about verbal expression albeit it could be. It's about the value of being ambulatory, taking literal–not figurative–hikes. 

If you live in California, like I do, you don't think twice about hiking miles as the occasion presents itself constantly. In the past week or so, the digital odometer on my ubiquitous iPhone has clocked over twenty miles, which for a senior over 65 is pretty impressive. Along with one of two partners in ambulation, I traversed Mirror Lake in Yosemite (seven miles), the Hollywood Reservoir (3.5), Huntington Gardens (five), the Baldwin Hills (2.5), and the streets of West Los Angeles (two). In short, we covered swaths of some very beautiful ground and took in some outstanding views along the way. What was even better was that we treated our bodies to some outstanding exercise. 

Just what are the health benefits of taking a hike? According to the U.S. National Park Service, hiking builds strong muscles and bones, which we seniors tend to need in particular as our bones become more brittle as we age. It also improves balance (although I personally keep clear of edges on the way up the sides of steep inclines), heart health, and minimizes the risk of some respiratory problems. It also reduces stress, high blood pressure and cholesterol, the incidence of some cancers, excess weight which could lead to diabetes, and boosts mental health. Unlike meds, it won't rob your wallet. Pretty darn good. 

Hiking is better than ambulating on a treadmill in a gym because it allows for time in the fresh air and provides limitless space. And if you are constantly moving forward, you don't have to worry about any intrusive insects although I would recommend bug repellent if you are planning to hike in some of the national parks as gnats can be a problem. In addition, it is an inexpensive form of socialization, often recommended as a second date–providing you hike in a well-visited area–as it enables you both to enjoy nature, be physically active vertically (before any talk of the horizontal), and chat quietly without distractions.

Wow! Taking a hike is a lot more than I thought it could ever be. Back when we used the idiom in the derogatory sense, we didn't take into consideration all of the pluses of the literal act, which is perhaps why we don't hear the expression used anymore. If you told someone to "Take a hike!" today, the person might understand it to mean that you care deeply about him, her, them. Which is not bad. Hmm. I like it when things change for the better, something you don't see too much these days.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and take a hike! 

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life,  #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #truth, #society, #good advice, #gwynenglishnielsen

What It Takes to Make It in Hollywood

 

veracity - noun - truthfulness; fact as opposed to opinion.

Although I have only lived in the vicinity of Hollywood for six months, because I already know and am still meeting many in the entertainment industry, I am learning what is safe to label "unreported veracity," facts that reporters would be afraid to unleash to the general public. Ironically, it is the individuals who work in Hollywood who shed the most light on the goings on in Tinseltown, and they don't seem to care who knows the truth. 

If you have ever had the dream of having your own star on the Hollywood walk of fame, it takes a lot more than talent. A lot more than talent. Sometimes talent doesn't even matter if you happen to have everything else. Based on conversations I've had over the past few months with friends (a TV/movie actor, a TV/film director, and a highly decorated documentarian), talent is the least of it. 

Okay, so other than talent, what does it take? The following:

1. The right look: most who are successful in the business are considered "attractive" by modern standards; however, if you have an idiosyncratic appearance that makes you stand out, you may get more work than the Ford model sitting next to you at an open call. Why? You are unique, a quality that defies competition.

2. The right personality: if you are extremely shy and generally introverted to a fault, chances are you will get buried. The squeaky wheel always attracts notice. It also helps if the wheel has a sense of humor to which others react favorably. Despite what most think, divas don't last long in Hollywood. They wind up making a lot initially, but later wind up financing their own projects because no studio wants to work with them.

3. The right connections: it always helps to know someone on the inside. This almost goes without saying. Even though it is frowned upon, nepotism is rife in Hollywood. For example, the Coppola family, all twenty-something of them, have had a great deal of say in the business for years. Many have avoided judgement by changing their last name to something less redundant, opposed to the dynasty. For example, Nick Cage is a Coppola. But you probably already knew that. 

4. All of the above to attract the right luck to get you where you want to go: luck is usually a factor in celebrity. It doesn't hurt to have what it takes in addition to timing. For instance, Charlize Theron was discovered while on line at a bank. This kind of luck is rare, most likely up there with winning the lottery in terms of probability. The odds are usually not in your favor, but you never know. You might just be standing in the right place at the right time and have exactly what the casting director is looking for.

5. The right attitude: plan on being indefatigable and industrious, keeping your nose to the grindstone for a long, long time. As Churchill once said, "Never, never, never give up." In short, you will need tenacity and thick skin because you will have to endure much rejection in Hollywood in order to secure that star. 

6. The right support: It doesn't hurt to have devoted stage parents, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or just a friend with a lot of #7. The world's darling Taylor Swift would have never secured fame sans her financier father, who stood adamantly behind his daughter's efforts while tossing bags of cash to all of the right people. (I know this because a close friend of mine–also an actor–is one of Mr. Swift's friends.)

7. MONEY. MONEY. MORE MONEY: without #6 and #7, most likely #5 may tarnish rapidly. A friend of mine who was a largely successful TV/movie actor had to give up the craft for practical reasons. Without an agent (who usually doesn't do much for you due to the competition), a personal manager, and public relations executive (the latter two require payment up front from your wallet), you can only get so far, not far enough to support a spouse and family, or if single, pay all of your bills. Because he couldn't tow the mark, my friend stopped auditioning altogether and now sells Anderson windows. 

Nothing in life is easy. To get what you want is difficult. Even if you feel as though you have what it takes, there are no guarantees. But not trying at all will only cause you to regret what you didn't pursue in the years to come. After all, Hollywood was built on dreams. They don't call it La La Land for nothing.

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Educational Revaluation (Reprinted from the Newark Star Ledger, September 3, 1986): Back to School Sans Change

 

amenities - noun - a desirable or useful feature

FORUM                                                                                                        September 3, 1986

Educational revaluation

DEAR EDITOR:

As an educator, I feel compelled to comment on your recent editorial reflective of the deterioration of American education. "First Step on a Long Road." Realistically, it would not have been inappropriate to have headed your piece, "First Step on an Interminable Interstate Highway." The current problems of the American system of education are deeply rooted within our society. The ubiquitous unsatisfactory test scores are but superficial indicators of societal maladies, which may take decades to correct. However, the road to knowledge may not be so overwhelming if we contemplate two essential points.

Initially, perhaps we as Americans need to reevaluate our distorted values and focus on the importance of education although this task may be neighboring on inane considering our contemporary priorities. For starters, why is it that we overly compensate our professional athletes and starve our teachers? Under the prevailing circumstances, some teachers are worthy of receiving five million dollars over five years. Just think of the number of minds they reach and shape over that period.

After revamping our priorities, we must then proceed to reinforce the absolute necessity of education in our children. Abstain from spoiling youngsters with an overabundance of material amenities! Invent a stimulating, creative, educational environment utilizing primitive tools...As they grow older, provide youths with books to read, rather than isolating them in front of the television set. After all, teachers cannot teach if students are not receptive to learning. Educators cannot perform the impossible by unlocking a door when students alone hold the key to it. The brightest of children have always been those who are motivated to learn.

It is conceivable that the "long road" may be abbreviated immensely if we as a nation take time to ponder our values and reorder our priorities. 

-Gwyn English Nielsen, age 27, a teacher at Mother Seton Regional High School, Clark, N.J. 

Enough said. 

Sadly, even after 38 years, the aforementioned is still relevant today. 

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